unread: 24

dear 568 unread blogs,

i did not like when you appeared on my google reader. in fact, i was quite upset that i had missed out on information from my good friends' lives. you made me feel like a slacker, 568. but to you, i now say "boosh." i have changed you, 568, forever! never again will my google reader show you! never again will your overwhelming digitary complexity show your face!

i have found contentment in a new number: 24. it's a kinder, more palatable number.

farewell for good, 568!

with no genuine love,
cinders

holi

Holi:

a spring religious festival celebrated by hindus.

(per wikipedia)

colors.

paint.

laughter.

worship to the untrue.

holi, i want to participate in you one day

(minus the untrue worship part.)

He restores my soul

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
   for his name’s sake.

 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

   I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
   your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
    forever.



* * * * *

freshman year in college, we had to take a strengths finder assessment. my top strength, restorative. at first, i thought this was a crazy strength for me because i can be so apathetic. but over the past few years, i've seen how God has uniquely created me to love, and even yearn for, restoration. and i think this is why i'm a nurse. i get to come along side people and help facilitate physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental restoration. and i think this is one reason why God has burdened my heart so deeply for the lost. i long to see those who don't know the Lord, who are separated from Him, to be restored to Him forever.

but sometimes, i forget how much i crave restoration in my own life. i love when broken friendships are restored; i love when conflicts have resolution; i love when music ends with some sort of resolution. but there was an element of restoration that i neglected: i love when i live in the reality that Mighty God and Loving Father has restored our relationship through the death and resurrection of His Son.

the last few months have been rough, (i know, not as rough as others when it comes down to it), but i think what made it so difficult is that i wasn't living day to day in the reality of my restored soul. God has restored me. me, the most wretched sinner, the whore, the prideful one. He has chosen to restore me!

He restores my soul

another plan that didn't come to fruition

God's been breaking me of my planner self lately (i.e. the past four months). most of the things that i've planned haven't gone according to my plan and, a lot of the time, haven't even happened.

the latest burst bubble: the conference i was going to go to hear paul washer speak is sold out. i was supposed to buy my ticket yesterday, but got to busy with the move. i'm pretty sad.


oh well, another item left unchecked on the bucket list.

sleepless in san francisco

yep, i'm at work again. at present, i only have two patients and they are both asleep. in a bit i'll have some things to do, but right now, it's all gravy.

another nurse's patient keeps yelling at us because we haven't given him enough food. he's eaten two dinner trays and is insisting he gets another. ha. dude, we aren't at the ritz carrleton. the gov'ment is broke as a joke, three dinners ain't gonna happen.

i need a haircut. BAD! it's all crazy different lengths and the ends aren't lookin too hot. and i have a wedding to go to on saturday. the first of the potential six weddings this year. oye vey.

i said oye vey. haha, i love jews.

it's supposed to rain/snow saturday at the wedding. i think i need to re-think my outfit choice of cute beige sun-dress, light pink cardi, and flowered flats. maybe i should find out if the wedding is indoors or out of doors.

that's kind of a funny statement, out of doors. ha.


the engagement count: 4 weeks, 12 engagements. crazy. cra-zy.

i have friends at work now! it's pretty exciting. although, tonight i experienced the true dirtiness that surfaces all too often in healthcare. thankfully, God has given me the grace to stay out of the conversations a lot.


i got to hang out with a friend from nepal last evening. it was really fun to catch up with him. added bonus: delicious nepali tea and mango lassi. probably the best mango lassi i've had ever. really, ev-er!

last week, i had a really refreshing time with a friend i've only known for a year. i am encouraged by her passionate and grounded spirit, and am blown away by her ability to speak Biblical truth in abundant love. while we don't talk super often, i am always encouraged when we do. while i made pizza, she read Scripture. and not bits and pieces, she read books. sigh. super encouraging. i want more hang out times like this.


i cried the entire way to work. it was hard, but much needed.



i just got my third patient. he's hard of hearing and r/o tb, which means i have to wear a really thick mask. 1)i look hotter than you think. 2)our communication has not been very good thus far.


tuesday is a big day: moving and tax day. holler.

i'm eating strawberries and grapes instead of banana cream pie. #tryingtopromoteweightloss

my pt with PNA and r/t tb (that's pneumonia and rule out tuberculosis for all you lay people out there ;)), wants to go smoke. i called the doc to get permission and he told me "well, that wouldn't be good; he's acutally pretty sick." no way?! really?!

i love hymns. jars of clay redemption songs is currently in my car. so good!






well, this is sleepless in san francisco, signing off. until next time.

uh oh

i may have made a critical error.

pray for grace in the coming hours.

(a titch dramatic? potentially.)

new goal

i set a lot of goals that i don't attain. learning the guitar, reading a book a month, not eating sweets, etc. one goal i had was to be overseas in five years post graduation; 2015 was going to be the golden year. loans paid, experience gained, and no one to rain on this parade.

but why not go sooner? yes, i am committed to my job until october and i have a lease until march 2012, so i am here until then. um,  but who says i can't get a job overseas before 2015? what's wrong with minimum loan payments?

this is not necessarily a new goal, but a new plan i'm going to start praying through.

to God be the glory!