sickning

my friend posted this on her fb. i had seen it before and i'm sure you have too, but today i literally got sick while watching it.

no, Jesus is not proclaimed, but stuff that He taught is. and not just the orphan and the widow line.


i pray that i would be moved to change. i pray that God would compel me to stop loving this world, to forsake it, and to follow Him with my WHOLE heart!!!!

new site

no, not me. some of you may have read on desiringgod.org that the gospel coalition has a new website. dude, it rocks. you MUST check it out! sermons, books, videos, articles-it's like christmas for the Christ-centered! wait, uh....um.......

language

in a class last semester, we were taught the importance of language in understanding cultural norms, behaviors, and, well, the culture period. in a class this semester, i will again, be studying culture, but in the context of nursing/healthcare. since language has yet to be introduced as a major and key importance in understanding another culture, (ok, we've only had one class), i've started to reflect on language. other circumstances in life also make me begin to wonder how vital language is.

welp. instead of conquoring the guitar as my next project, i will be trying to refresh on languages never truly mastered. spanish and asl will be my tasks. this semester, a friend has graciosuly offered to give me informal asl lessons. next semester, i will either take a class (gulp) or simply review with a roomie a language not listend to seriously for almost eight years (double gulp).

i was talking with a prof about going overseas yesterday and challenged both myself and her with the words "for the sake of the cross." i didn't really understnad these words when i got back from india, but now, more and more by the grace of God, these words make more sense. to communicate the Truth with people, i can't be lazy. so, for the sake of the cross, for the namesake and glory of my Lord, this new task i undertake. oh Lord, grant me grace!

looking back

as i reflect back on the past few months, maybe year, i remember questioning grace and asking in earnest to understand what grace means. i told my friend that i "had a hard time with grace" i.e. felt like i had to do stuff to earn favor with God. she challenged me with simple words.

"cindy, you can't do anything to make God love you more or less."

i didn't understand the how these words would resonant with me until now, until a summer filled with teachings about grace and Jesus Christ, until the Holy Spirit moved in my heart and mind. i don't fully understand grace. i don't get how the Creator of all things, including me, could send His Son to die a painful death, a Son who went willingly and bore the wrath of this God and my shame and sin, and then rose again in order to glorify Himself and to restore mankind, including sinful, awful me, to Himself. it makes no sense because i know myself.

however, it makes beautiful sense because God's ways are different than mine and this way resonants in my soul like nothing ever has. glorifying God and enjoying Him forever makes so much sense!

i've been so worried about this year for so many silly reasons, mostly due to the lack of close friends who share such convictions. however, God is abounding is grace and love, for i discovered that a dear friend in my nursing class is also reformed! ok, i know it's just a title, but truly, we hold to some very similar convictions and i feel overwhelmed with God's goodness!!!!

it seems like there's more to write; i'm sure there is. however, i have no words.

the first of many similar blogs

actually, it's not the first. i've blogged a lot about this summer because it has truly been filled with laughter, amazing fellowship, wonderful discussions about an infinitely indescribable God, and grace. i can't get over or communicate how i felt this summer or what i have learn, but since packing is finished and i have said most of my fairwells, all i want to do is cry.


my heart aches to have mid-june and early august back again! i wish i had savoured the moments with such precious friends in such glorious times of prayer and discussion. what i wouldn't give to go back to those "lazy" afternoons in the house talking about the overly-abounding grace of our God, the perfect work and display of Christ, and how badly the giants lost the night before.


i think i can say this with absolute certainty that this has been the best summer of my life. the grace and glory of God has never been more clearly displayed then in these few months and for that i will always be grateful to the Lord. i am excited for my friends as the grow together in grace in the coming months, but i am so sad, (and jealous, i'll admit), to not be a part of it. sure, i have amazing friends at school and they will challenge me and point me to the Lord, but i cherish my friends in a different way because we have grown up together, we have struggled together, we have celebrated together. God is to be praised for His goodness! i am SO undeserving of such a life, of such friends-nay, family.


ok, enough for now. you will have to read something like this again once culture shock sets in back in riverside. october 16th, COME SOON!