Wednesday, June 17, 2009


i was just at the most seriously amazing weekend of my life thus far. part of this could have been hearing john piper IN PERSON and then meeting him, or maybe it was spending time listening and learning about sin, or maybe it was driving around socal with my norcal friends and making silly jokes. well, it was most definitely ALL OF THE ABOVE! some things i learned this weekend:
  • -john piper and jonanthan edwards are amazing. it rocks my world that God chooses to use people in such ways!
  • -my attitude sucks so often and thus reflects on my actions. i'm such a control freak and i want things to be how i envision them. NEWS FLASH: ain't happenin girlie.
  • -God can use and actual ordains sin for His glory. i don't think this means that He delights in it or that He causing it, but He must allow it happen because He is sovereign and satan is not.
  • -my friends are amazing. despite my moodiness, they put up with me and love me. thanks
  • -john macaurthur, to put it lightly, did not rock my socks. politics should not be preached from the pulpit. dude, johnny mac, i got it! kill the earth and the bible is not meant for nonchristians! any other points that are actually related to God that you'd like to teach?
  • -driving in cars with boys is not like the movie and is, in fact, often boring. at least you learn that the asymmetry or symmetry of oak trees is a mathematical masterpiece and a reflection of God's glory
  • -we shouldn't just learn cute little words from the bible, but sentences. here are a few: colossians 1:16, ephesians 1:4-6, psalm 42:5, 11. random though those verses may seem, they are glorious when when thinks/dwells on sin and then, moreover, on the glory of Christ!
  • -enfield rocks my world!
  • -i have a lot to learn about battling sin, but am confident that Christ is working in me to will and to act according to His good purpose and, ultimately, His glory according to His grace!
random thoughts put together, but again, it's hard to synthesize such a weekend. to download/listen to the sermons, go here.

oh yea, that's us with john piper. our shirts say "i'm down with grandpa john on the front" and the back says "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him in the midst of loss, not prosperity." expect to see that around school next year. ;)

Monday, June 8, 2009


welp, i said no to hume last night. my heart still breaks a bit for the missed opportunities that potentially laid ahead. however, i am so sick of missing out good friendships over the summer. i've missed at least six of my friends' weddings over the past four years because of being overseas, work, or school. i want to show my friends how much i value them, not just in word, but in action, no matter how many wedding gifts i have to buy or weddings i have to sit through, (wait, get to sit through?).

this decision has left me jobless once again. i'm headed to the pool today to beg to be put first on the sub's list if not put on the overall schedule. i'm trying to trust in Lord and trying to remind myself of how faithful He is. That doesn't mean i'll get a job, it just means that this time is mean to be spent without a job. i'm grateful in many ways because i've been able to hang out with friends and my blood pressure is low without the stress of a job. also, i'm half way through the fourth harry potter book and i get to spend time with my mom as she recovers.

in other news, ellen and i are fairly convinced that the jeovah's witnesses are targetting our dad; they've been to our house three times since i've been home. please pray that he will resist their words, but fall in love with the Lord Jesus. also, my dad has a good friend who is a Christ follower. Please pray that this man will speak VOLUMES into my dad's life and that my dad's ears would be open.

that's all. cbu friends-miss you and, again, if you're in the sf area, CALL ME!! friendship, after all, is the ship that never fails. ;)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

the book that never gets old

i've been reading the book of acts as of late and am completely blown away! i've read it before in different stages of my life, but i love that at each stage, as God continues to reveal Himself in news ways, in deeper ways, that this book is refreshed and carries deeper meaning. (i know, the entire Bible is like that, but i'm blown away by acts right now, k?)
some observations about acts now that i'm about half way through:
  • followers of Christ are called out, no fear of ridicule or rebuttal from "the other side." (acts 5:3-4)
  • the Holy Spirit worked in mighty wasy in spite of these people the Father had called unto Himself (acts.)
  • there were not only physical transformations (3:6-8), but there were cultural shifts that continue to astound me, (8:4-8, 10:44-48), as well as countless spiritual transformations (2:1-4, 9:1-31)
  • followers of Christ took time to be in awe of the workings of God (11:17-18)
  • do you remember phillip? i sure hadn't! he is my new hero, (not superhero, like Jesus ;)). i mean, when talking about a frontier missionary, one should really reference phillip-he started it all! (8:4-40)
  • it says that they taught about the Lord Jesus as they went places and people believed and were saved. (11:20-21) dude, what if that's all we taught in churches around the world-the LORD JESUS!? biblically, it seems as He alone has the power to save!
  • a friend told me to live in faith, not in fear. this is completely exemplified by the apostles and followers of Christ as they were obedient to the Holy Spirit, trusting in the faithful God (acts.)
these are just some petty thoughts. i know the "early church," as we have coined it, wasn't perfect by any means, but followers of Christ clung to the gospel, refusing to let anyone tamper with its value. i think that is the beauty of the "early church" that so many of us our attracted to. fromt his gospel centrality flows the :ability" to be obedient because Christ is all you have; the ability to live in faith and not fear because, again, Christ is of highest importance. i want to live in gospel centrality. i want to understand, even in the smallest bit, that the resurrected Christ is all that i have!

Thursday, June 4, 2009


i'd never thought about this before. thanks.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Mr. Ralph Winter

i just found out that Mr. Ralph Winter passed on May 20 as i took time to catch up on my desiring God blogs. for this blog and more information on mr. winter, please go here.

i remember when this man spoke at cbu to a few students and faculty. i simply remember being blown away by the humility and passion of this man. when i took the perspectives class the following spring, i realized that this same man helped write the curriculum for the course. so to mr. winter, this blog is dedicated, although the appropriate homage given to him is not in full.

i'm back...i think

well, i've been back in the states for six days now and haven't felt like blogging, or anything really. our trip was humbling, to say the least, and i'm still processing so much of what happened.

dear friend told me once that if i say i have a heart for God's heart, i must love more than india and its people. with this in mind, i went to africa, ready to be broken for the people, the hurt, and the joy. while that indeed happened, i must not forget those on my team, people God also has a heart for that i too often neglected. i praise God that He bestows so much grace on me and has forgiven me of my all too often fleshly behavior. i rejoice because He was glorified in rwanda.

that may not have made sense, but maybe it will when i get around to blogging the trip. for now, reverse culture shock takes the form of apathy and withdrawl as i desire sleep and silence more than anything. maybe the reason i have not fully processed the experience is because i am afraid to/afraid of what i will feel and how i will react. God will give me the strength in this weakness in His timing.

until then, i am looking for a job because after only five days at home, the dad relationship is already tense. i beg you to pray for him. pray that my dad's heart would be utterly broken for God and that he would "accept" the grace of the Lord with sincerity.
my cbu friends, i cannot wait to hug you in whatever context we next meet, whether for a moment or for days. if y'all are up in the bay area, don't hesitate to give me a call!!!