dear friend told me once that if i say i have a heart for God's heart, i must love more than india and its people. with this in mind, i went to africa, ready to be broken for the people, the hurt, and the joy. while that indeed happened, i must not forget those on my team, people God also has a heart for that i too often neglected. i praise God that He bestows so much grace on me and has forgiven me of my all too often fleshly behavior. i rejoice because He was glorified in rwanda.
that may not have made sense, but maybe it will when i get around to blogging the trip. for now, reverse culture shock takes the form of apathy and withdrawl as i desire sleep and silence more than anything. maybe the reason i have not fully processed the experience is because i am afraid to/afraid of what i will feel and how i will react. God will give me the strength in this weakness in His timing.
until then, i am looking for a job because after only five days at home, the dad relationship is already tense. i beg you to pray for him. pray that my dad's heart would be utterly broken for God and that he would "accept" the grace of the Lord with sincerity. my cbu friends, i cannot wait to hug you in whatever context we next meet, whether for a moment or for days. if y'all are up in the bay area, don't hesitate to give me a call!!!
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