caroling?

i used to love christmas caroling. i love the harmonies, the gooy feeling you get inside, and the smiles that it brings to others.

i went caroling with my church a few days ago and i was mixed with emotions. like i said, i really like caroling because i get to sing songs from choir long ago and pretend that i can sing. i looked through the song list-jingle bells, we wish you a merry christmas? should a church be endorsing these songs that don't reflect "the reason for the season?"

but my near disdain for caroling is deepened by two factors: 1)the church sings glorious songs about Jesus the Christ and doesn't seem to sing them as if they were true or even recognize what they are singing, but sing them out of tradition and cause they're purty. (i mean, away in a manager? what?) 2)the world has adpoted these wonderful truth-telling songs about Jesus Christ as merely "nice and purty songs." i dunno.

i know some of you may want to stone me, but i'm simply making an observation. i don't desire to get rid of christmas songs, but rahter see them used differently in the church and the "world," restoring their purity and beauty.

quantum of solace: a review

i was finally able to see the newest james bond film, quantum of solace. i had heard that it just wasn't as good as other bond movies. i would have to agree. while the cinematography always rocks my socks, the plot was severely lacking. i mean, can anyone tell me what "quantum of solace" or the "the solace project" actually is? and who the heck is mathis? the movie only ran an hour and forty minutes, leaving plenty room to develop the plot. i really loved the way the action scenes were intertwined with other things going on in the movie, (i don't know how to fully explain it and i don't want to destroy it). i really liked things blowing up and the stupid humor. i can't lie-i also enjoyed daniel craig as james bond. if the movies were a little bit more "bondy," i might call mr. craig my favorite james bond.

there's my dilema and review. i loved it and i hated it, and am still completely confused.


anyone else see it or am i the only heathen of the bunch? any other thoughts?

break thus far

break has been very interesting thus far and it's so weird that it's Christmas eve already! i've been to SF twice, played football in the rain, listened to the prosperity gospel, watched friends go ice skating, and made (well, still making), christmas presents.


san francisco times one was with the youth leaders at church. we drove up saturday night and drove back sunday morning for church. we stayed in a sweet hotel a 1/2 a block from union square. after dinner, we walked around and then headed back to the rooms for a game of apples to apples and mofia:

youth leaders in union square

at church on sunday i learned that Jesus didn't die for the world, but died for me-wow! then, i got to play some football in the rain to get out my aggression/anger from the sermon:

choir at church (thanks betsy)

christmas clash crew

me and kim: we beat each other up on the line ;)

monday was ice skating night, but i just watched. good times tryng to figure out my camera:

ellen, betsy, heather, and cari-sister and youth group friends

today it was san francisco times two. ellen and i headed up to the city our uncle. we went to the legion of honor to check out a lame da vinci exibit, but i got to see some monet, picasso, and, my favorite, dalhi:

me and salvidor

ellen and me outside the legion of honor

tuesday night i went bowling with the "high schoolers." ugly sweaters was the name of the game:

this was the Luster King

cari, marge, betsy, and me; ANTM anyone?

it's been a good break. i think i've decided i can't move back home after grad (in a year and a half). i can't handle living here this long, how could i handle living here months at a time? i'm excited for christmas, to celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus, the Christ. I hope i'm learning more and more what it means to follow Him and to search after Him. I pray the same for my friends.


Happy Christmas!

a new kind of matercard commercial

i was "stumbling" around and came across this webpage titled "the mastercard commercial i'd like to see." in light of things like "advent conspiracy" and just thinking of friends overseas, and the genocide in darfur, i think it's enlightening.

Amount spent each year in Europe and the United States on pet food: $17 billion

Cost per year to achieve basic health and nutrition for the entire world: $13 billion

Amount spent on perfumes each year: $12 billion

Clean water for all the world: $9 billion

Amount spent on cosmetics in the US: $8 billion

Basic education for the world’s children: $6 billion

Total amount the US spends on Christmas each year: $450 billion (or 16 years worth of food, water, and education for the world)

Initial cost of the US Government bailout of failing financial institutions: $700 billion (or 25 years worth of food, water, and education for the world)

Coming to grips with the alarming disconnects of our consumerist society: Priceless

so excited to have you back, paul!

it's been a crazy semester. i've been able to get used to a new roommate, take 16 units, start going to a new church, and it seems that i've been sick most of the semester.

i haven't made much time to listen to the pod, (aka iPod), or had an attention span to listen to sermons. yesterday and today, however, with finals coming to an abrupt hault, i broke it out. i excitedly choose a sermon to listen to. can you guess by who?





oh brother paul, thanks as always, for being open to the Spirit and speaking truth!

i'm STOKED to be a nurse!!!

finals have sucked. i have a total of ten this semester. i get so consumed with these stupid tests and papers and skills performances that i loose site of what i am doing.

i am watching the john and kate plus 8 Christmas special. john and kate and all their kids got to bring gifts to kids to a pediatric hospital. this is why i get to take these stupid tests and write these ridiculous papers. i hate that i forget why i have this awesome priveledge! thank you Jesus.

i'm so STOKED to be a nurse!

it's a hot toad!

you heard me. you would never put a toad in a pot of already hot water. you would put them in a pot of water and slowly turn up the heat.

i feel like this is what is happening at CBU. this semester, we are slowly not being able to do certain things that we have been able to do in the past. i know i'm a complainer and i should just get over it, but i don't like it! and i don't think the school should be so uber-controlling. well, there's my rant for the day.

the hajj.

pray for them. thousands of lost spend a lifetime trying to make this journey to touch and pray at a stone. what surprising devotion to nothing.

(bbc)

me and my rommie

i know i've written about our amazingness before, but i just can't resist. we have discovered that we have quite a few similarities, but also a few differences. Here they are:

-we both enjoy cheese. i mean really enjoy cheese.
-she doesn't like fish. i would eat it every day if i could.
-we both listened to *NSYNC and had a crush on lance (yes, the currently gay one)
-she can focus for long periods of time....what did you say?
-we both have similar taste in guys: curly hair, medium skin tone, oh, and loves Jesus.
-she is able to study in complete silence. please believe white noise is the name of the game in my book.
-we both a have strange attraction to ronald weisley.
-she doesn't like to drive other people. i just like being behind the wheel.
-we both have mother's that are nurses and older sisters that are teachers
-she has a nack for decorating. i can't tell which way to put the table cloth
-we have two of the same strengths
-she likes lima beans and eggplant. i like califlower, (and pretty much everything else but those two.)
-we both have emotional breakdowns: jen cries, i yell.
-she doesn't like to write and refuses to get a blog. you can't get me to stop suckas!
-we are both obsessed with jim gaffigon and which much rather spend hours watching hours of comedians on youtube



this is just a glimpse of our most current revelations. hope it was enjoyable.

no creative title

i need Jesus SO much! i wish that i could remember everyday that He is all i have. i wish i could stay focused on Him. i wish that i could understand the depths of the things that would bring glory to His name. i wish i knew what it was to fully trust in the Lord for and with everything. i want to move to this place. i want to sing proudly in all circumstances, "for the sake of the cross." i don't just need Jesus, He is all that i have!

delalyed in san jose

i'm comin up on my sixth hour in the san jose airport. i wish i had something interesting to tell everyone. instead:

i saw a guy that looked like he was talking to himself. i later found out he was on his bluetooth. i stood in a line at the security check point that wound out into the parking lot for thirty five minutes. i sat next to this girl who kept talking about boiled vegetables and fish and how she wanted to loose weight; she was drinking a frappiccino. i talked with an OB nurse and a girl who goes to UCR. did you know people leave their computers at the security check points? i finished two hw assignments, but couldn't motivate myself to start the one due tomorrow or tonight. another flight headed towards ontario left before mine. i got starbucks so 5% of my non-fairtrade coffee could go to stop AIDs, (or something). i so want to punch the lady who keeps making the announcements. i no longer want to be a flight attendant.

hopefully, i will see riverside in two hours. if not, expect me on a train next thanksgiving.

broken

the carnage has continued in india, has most of you have probably heard. it breaks my heart that this has happened. it breaks my heart even more that hundreds have died, probably without knowing Jesus as the Christ and that our media has only covered this specific incident because of the western involvement.




To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of it's suffering I do drink
Of it's work I do sing


For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed

Showed that God is love
And God is just


At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am



Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered



What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death

You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness!

इंडिया.

please pray for india again. oh, how much they need Jesus!

मुंबई अत्ताक्क्स।

tv never seems to fail

while tv never seems to fail, i do recognize it is not the unfailing King of Kings.

however, this tv ad makes me oh so happy. please Jesus, can i go back now?

जेसुस इस त्रुल्य वोर्थ्य ऑफ़ अल!

favorite movie

i feel like people are always asking this question. okay, not always, but it's a fairly common "get to know ya" question. well, i think i finally came to a conclusion. i used to think that a drama would hold this coveted number spot, but i was wrong-dead wrong.

this evening i've had the hardest time focusing. i even took an unintentional twenty minute nap. i don't understand-the break is days away, but i can't seem to stay focused on the things that need to get done so i can really have a break. so, i'm taking a miniature break tonight. this is where the discovery took place.

i was craving finding nemo. have you ever really watched that movie? i mean really watched it? it is an incredible piece of animation, not to mention the lines getcha every time!!!

so there you have it. finding nemo has been officially dubbed as number one.

you know you want to watch it now.

oh my

i couldn't think of title for this blog simply because i just need to ask you to pray.

my friend's sister just had a baby. while this is a time for absolute rejoicing, the circumstance surrounding the situation is not so great-this beautiful child was born 3 1/2 months early, barely considered viable, weighing in at just over one pound.

i know you don't know them, but pray for them. pray for the safety and health of this little life. pray that this family will have strength and courage. pray that this family will strongly display the love, truth, and grace of Jesus Christ to the health care workers around them.

while it's hard to believe, you were that size once. you didn't have to live on your own, but i guess you still don't.

yep, i did it!

i had my first red-cupped starbucks of the year 2009! (how i celebrate the materialistic things of life)

i had a gingersnap latte. sadly, NOT the same as a gingerbread latte. was this amazing christmas classic discontinued? we shall see.

welp, back to "homework" (more commonly known as torture).

christmas

i know most of the people that read this blog (or attempt to do so) went to chapel on wednesday, but i have to blog about it.

here's the video.




i was skeptical, like most, when i walked through the gym doors and heard "o come all ye faithful" being sung and saw the worship leaders wearing reindeer antlers. however, when brian spoke, i was really convicted. i am not eager to give of my time and love, but so ready to give a a cheap and meaningless gift and walk away. i am "caught up" in the consumerism every year even if i try not to be.

i don't want to do that this year. in fact, i refuse. i will give of something that i struggle to give, (especially of late), time, something i so often think belongs fully to me. if you see me slipping in this area, i fully invite you to call me on it; i need it.

so happy early Christmas-may we learn to celebrate it with others in love, joy, and humility.

growing up

i've always dreaded growing up. the mere thought of having to (gulp) act professional kinda makes me queezy. this is probably why i've stuck to jobs like lifeguarding, teaching swim lessons, and being an ra. i have some responsibility, but there is so much room to have fun and be absolutely silly.


with a bunch of childhood friends getting married, twenty three down the block, (it's not quite around the corner yet...), and seemingly more responsibilty with nursing and nursing school each week, it seems like i have to face the facts-i'm growing up. the scary part is, i think i like it!


i've realized that as i grow up, relationships with friends have strengthenedand conversations have deepened. close and true friends may have grown thinner like a man balding as he gets older, but how precious are those few hairs that are left; how precious are my friends that i have. i know that i propably place too much trust in people, but i spent too many years not trusting people, so i hope that i learn to open up more and trust people more as i grow up, the antithesis of our cultural learning.


i've realized that my whatever my future job will hold, it's gonna have responsibilty and i have to be responsible, so no matter how much i want to avoid it, so i might as well just embrace it. i don't have to give up my silliness, i just need to learn to be fun in a responsible way...pediatrics? maybe... thank you God that life is dynamic.

no really...

hey, so did you check it out?? remember my friend kimberlee (she's might be your friend too...). she's running that marathon to raise money and awareness for world vision? have you checked out webpage yet? well, you should! DON'T PUT IT OFF!

a puritan prayer

Heavenly Father,
Save me entirely from sin.
I know I am righteous through the righteousness of another,
but I pant and pine for likeness to thyself.
I am thy child and should bear thy image,
Enable me to recognize my death unto sin;
When it tempts me may I be deaf unto its voice.
Deliver me from the invasion as well as the dominion of sin.
Grant me to walk as Christ walked, to live in the newness of His life, the life of love, the life of faith, the life of holiness.
I abhor my body of death,
tts indolence, envy, meanness, pride.
Forgive, and kill these vices,
have mercy on my unbelief,
on my corrupt and wandering heart.
When thy blessings come I begin to idolize them,
and set my affection on some beloved object -
children, friends, wealth, honour;
Cleanse this spiritual adultery and give me chastity;
close my heart to all but thee.
Sin is my greatest curse;
Let thy victory be apparent to my consciousness,
and displayed in my life.
Help me to be always devoted, confident, obedient,
resigned, childlike in my trust of thee, to love thee with soul, body, mind, strength, to love my fellow-man as I love myself,
to be saved from unregenerate temper, hard thoughts, slanderous words, meanness, unkind manners,
to master my tongue and keep the door of my lips.
Fill me with grace daily,
that my life be a fountain of sweet water.

kimber

this is my friend kimberlee and no, i'm not a creeper. finish reading and i'll explain.


kimberlee, or kimber as i lovingly call her, is from northern california and attends cbu. she is gonna be a teacher and wants to live in africa. if it weren't for God giving us both a heart for the nations, we probably wouldn't be friends. she's that person in your group of friends who is totally wise beyond her years and sadly we joke with her that this is because she went to private school for so long. if you don't know her shame on you! just kidding. well, almost.

this is not a dating advertisement. in fact, she would probably yell at me if she read this, but i think it is important to understand a bit about the person i am about to ask you to support. my crazy, but wise friend kimber is running a marathon, (like half of the cbu population). she's raising support for world vision and she would humbly request that you pray for her and donate if you feel led. i say, give her a stinkin dollar a mile and get over yourself. but hey, whatev.

please do check out her website for more information and feel free to tell others about this great opportunity to help support not only my great friend, but an organization that is doing something for the Kingdom.

MFEO

any sleepless in seattle fans? i know there are some fans of seattle out there, but does anyone love this movie as much as i do? good.

well, this blog has little to do with the movie except for this classic line: MFEO-made for each other. this is the way i feel about health care. sure, there are certain aspects that i detest, like really sick people not being able to get help just because they have no health inssurance, really arrogant doctors, or children that scream as i give them a shot (no really, i mean SCREAM). but there are plenty of reasons to love health care. the are as follows:

• -i love taking care of people. i know i gripe about clinical days, but they are truly the best part of my week because i am able to take place in something that i can't put words to; it's a blessing and truly humbling.
  
• -talking to people is boss. in the relm of healthcare, people can't not talk to me because i'm their nurse-yes! more isnta-friends!!!
• -there are indian doctors and nurses everywhere!!! i've interacted with at least three this semester alone. (this point will be ellaborated on shortly...)
• -people need Jesus. i get to share the love and touch of Christ with people and hopefully, i will even have opportunities to share the truth of this wonderful and powerful Savior and Lord.

i had these revelations as i was sitting in the exam room at the urgent care yesterday. my doctor was an indian man, (totally boss), and there was another indian doctor in the hall. i mean really? even if by some strange circumstance God "calls" me to stay in the states, i will still be able to minister to the people that i love and have such a "burden" for. i pray that God will give me the boldness to talk with these doctors and nurses now, so that the name of Jesus the Christ may be known in all the earth, to the glory of God.

five and counting...

five of my friends are now engaged. really? so crazy. congrats to my newly engaged friend, amber! if anyone else is planning on getting engaged, can i get some prep please? i think my roommate needs me to celebrate somewhere besides our living room ;)

life is beautiful

did i steal that title? man, thievery seems to be my new gifting; i should work on that. in other news... today was my first day of clinical in OB. what does this mean? BABIES! LOTS O' BABIES!!! my anxiety level was quite high this morning as i headed to kaiser at 0615. i walked away from a three hour pre-conference with a cool badge thinking that this would be the only positive to the day. then, i found out i was assigned to the neaotanal intensive care unit. cindy translation=sick and super fragile babies, LOTS of them!! any anxiety level that may have been diminshed because of the hip new badge had just risen-times two.

*******

i came back from lunch and my nurse beckoned for me to come with her. i scurried towards her, put on foot coverings, (similar to those worn at the taj ;)), and a head covering, (not so similar to those worn in indian ;)), and went down to the OR. I GOT TO SEE A C-SECTION! so crazy!! a baby was born and i got to see it!!! weird, please believe. i mean, i know people always say that it's beautiful, but i just thought they were lyers. today, confirmed something quite different. birth is quite amazing, something that can only be created by an amazing God and that i live in a world of denial.

******

there's nothing else to write, so i'll just leave you with a visual.

stollen, so uh, sorry.

i definitely stole this video from darin mcwatters. lo siento my friend, but it was too funny not too pass on.


click me

it's beginning to look a lot...

...like christmas?



well, songs aren't playing in stores yet, but decorations are in pretty much every store


and i saw egg nog at ralph's today.

now, if only the temperature would drop a couple ten degrees, then we'd be in business! otherwise....

i forget to pray

so, if you haven't figured it out, i love india. i try to pray for them, but i i fail. (this is in no way to be "look how holy i am.") but i pray for the lost. i pray for the people of india to come to know Christ and the glory of God. while i think this is good and pleasing to the Lord, i think it also grieves Him because i forget about His children who are suffering so greatly in India. read the current struggle.it has been going for months, at least, in the news.

i had a conversation with some folks about what it means to be persecuted. i don't know what that means anymore. i don't think i have ANY idea what it means to suffer or to be persecuted. i pray that i will learn to suffer with grace and love, with integrity and perseverance, with self-control and peace. i pray that i will learn to pray and weep for my brothers and sisters in india who suffer in ways that i can't seem to comprehend.

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Romans 12:9-12

milestones

i'm writing a paper on developmental milestones. it sucks, mostly because of the time that it is taking to write.



i had a personal milestone. i took a suck test today. i definitely thought i failed post-test. welp, i just got my test grade. please believe that i definately got an a-, in nursing terms! this is a HUGE deal, well, for me. i'm not trying to brag by any stretch of the imagination! this is one of my best grades ever in nursing in terms of a test, so i needed to share the absolute splendor!

thanks. uh....back to the paper...?

my hometown...well, almost.

my hometown made the bbc news!!! well, almost. i guess there's been lost of talked about the hayward fault line. here's the. it's kinda creepy actually. there's a picture showing all of the different faults in the bay area and there are a lot. but anyway, hayward and san mateo, (my town), share a bridge. during thanksgiving break, i will be crossing that bridge to go visit the hayward city hall to see that stinkin' cool fault line that was featured in the bbc article.


in other almost-hometown news, there was another bomb blast in india. this time it was imphal (in the north-east). not too much info on the attacks yet. thirteen are dead. they say this so causually in the news. i don't think they realize the gravity of the deaths. thriteen will see the full weight of the glory of God carried out in His wrath-->dead.

turtle in a half shell

i used to watch teenage mutant ninja turles a lot growing up. the glory of over-grown reptiles saving new york city and eating pizza-it was a girl's dream come true! my favorite movie was the first one. i could never handle the female lead changing, so i had to stick with the original.

anyway, it was on tv and i caught a majority of it. please believe that this movie is WAY funnier as an adult. almost like animaniacs or freakaziod.






what shows have you had a great appreciation of since you've "grown up?" do tell!

dirty secret

i have this obsession. i think i may have confessed this previously on my blog and most of you know it all ready, but i was recently reminded of this obsession and man oh man! so excited i became!!



"the names bond, james bond." bada NA NAH nana na!



those words so beautifully spoken and the musically theme so wonderfully played strike a deep cord in me. from sean connery to daniel craig, all of twenty one of these films are simply amazing. i am thoroughly looking forward to the release of the newest in the saga Quantum of Solace, in theaters november 14. i plan on going by myself or with friends, so let me know if you want to go! some people get mad at me for liking thee movies because i am a self-proclaimed neo-feminist, however, i think they missed the "neo" part and the fact that i'm cindy and i constantly redefining things. dude, common. so here's a little snippit of why i love the world of james bond:



the swanky look....



...and the silvery cars.


you get drinking,

...wicked chase scenes,
and absolute predictability.



but really, what gets me coming back EVERY time, the guns.