a bit of frustration

i started erading 1 corinthians not too long ago. it seemed as though i needed to be reminded of what paul teaches in this letter since it had been so long since i read it last. i stumbled across 1 corinthians 7. yea, we all know it has to do with marriage, but do we really grasp it? at one point paul says:

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord" (v. 32-35)

i don't think this can be more plain. 

but why then does the church so often force marriage on the single folk? i know, we have been commanded to be fruitful and multiply (genesis 1:28), but have we not also been commanded to live for the gospel of Christ (acts 20:24)? and not just to live, but to sacrifice all for the sake of the gospel? (i couldn't find a specific scripture for that last statement, simply because it is such a thread through the bible). 

why then is there so much pressure to be married? are you saying that i can't serve Christ properly unless i am married? i think not. scripture is plain-being single i can wholly devote myself to Christ and His affairs without being so directly concerned for the well-fair of another. so please, dearest church and cbu, stop pressuring people to be married and embrace those who are single. hone in on them and cultivate a spirit sold out to the gospel!

*NOTE: i don't have objections to being married. but now, while i am single, except it. nay, embrace it! and pray that God would cultivate a sold-out spirit to Him!

the final days

i'm sure this won't be the last blog on this subject. it's hard to believe that after spending the last 21 years of my life in school, i will no longer describe myself as a student in 10 days. wow. this fact because more real by the day.

i got my cap and gown on monday. it's kinda ugly, but oh well, it was "free."

 

i got my last finals care package. my mom wrote the best note ever: "this is it! your final, final exams. you will soon be a graduate. hurray." ok, thanks for making this super real, mom.

after our last class, my nursing class took a picture together. we hadn't done that since our first few days of nursing school, and we have for sure changed, but as anne of green gables would say, these are my kindred spirits.

but maybe...we've just gotten crazier.

i turned in my pda and have completed my final assignments. now to sell some books....

 

in addition to graduation, i leave for south asia in 15 days. serving Jesus through isp makes me pretty dang happy.

 

dude. i am SO excited about, but i'm SO nervous. this year as a leader, i've had to define and prepare a lot more-and i just wasn't anticipating that. see, i've never gone overseas with isp when the leaders hadn't been a part of the program before. to define the importance of time with God in our meetings and the importance of following the "isp" way. it's also strange that site seeing is so important. i mean, who knows when we'll ever be there again, but living amongst so much darkness really puts a damper on site seeing. all i ever want to do is meet people and tell them about Jesus. praying for a paradigm shift.

there are a lot of people to see and laughter to be had in the next 10 days. there is also much prep to be done, logistically and spiritually. 

and i am excited to partake in it.

learning from michael chandler

i am in no way in the same situation as this man. however, the point he makes in this video is huge. essentially, learn to suffer well. it is Biblical. it is Christ-like.

Philippians 1:29

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake...

Luke 6:47-49

"Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great."

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

i suck at suffering. this year, in a strange way, i have seen what seems like much death. and i often hate it. i hate having to care for some one post-mortem in the hospital and i have no idea if they are dwelling richly in the presence of Christ. i hate that i didn't get to say one last goodbye. i hate that i think others are judging my reaction or response.

but somehow, none of that seems to matter.

at least in this moment.

 teach me to suffer well, for Your namesake, o Lord!

tolerance (part 1)

(this is for kimber): tolerance has many definitions. here are a few:

• the power or capacity of an organism to tolerate unfavorable environmental conditions
• permissiveness: a disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior
• the act of tolerating something (i hate when dictionaries use the word to define itself!)
• willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others
• allowance: a permissible difference; allowing some freedom to move within lim

i think the bolded one is the definition our society would adopt. 

i just got back from an all day event with the youth group at missio dei. we went to la to tour the museum of tolerance. i was excited, but also apathetic since i had been to the holocaust museum in dc and the genocide memorial/museum in rwanda. 

but i was challenged.

a lot.

i felt sick most of the tour and it took a lot to hold back a physical reaction to the emotional, well, stuff we were being exposed to, (by physical reaction i don't mean barfing. i think just falling to my face and weeping). 

i haven't fully processed the day, but i know i was challenged not just to "be a better person," but to understand why i believe what i do. most importantly, i was challenged to love more. and not love in human or worldly terms, but to love as Christ loved. to lay down my life, not simply to save their physical life, but in order to further the name of Christ amongst every person.

this is all for now. i'm sure there will be another blog to follow as i process more clearly.

easter break

easter break is over. i was supposed to stay in the rivv but ended up coming home. it was the first easter for hope church of san mateo and i felt so blessed to be a part of it! it's probably one of my favorite easters yet! the main thing that made this easter sad was that it was not with as much family as usual. mom went to one church, we went to another. we were in san mateo, the other family was in redding. just weird, no bad.

break essentially started out with the urgent care in riverside. thinking i had strep throat a.e.b. the white patches on my throat, i eagerly waited for two hours in the waiting room. once i saw the doctor, he could not simply say i had strep, but insisted that i had a bilateral ear infection. awesome. especially when i had a flight in about 30 hours. after an all day process of getting antibiotics, i took a nap. and did no homework.

on thursday, i went to a new doctor who looked at me kinda funny like when i told her my circumstances. but after some clarification and things that will not be named, i got free samples of a new prescription. excited to start those. also talked with a nurse recruiter who totally shut me down. lovin the california job market. later, my sister took me shopping for my trip this summer. i got some bomb stuff! super excited to look legit...now if only i can feel legit when i'm hiking....hmm....we had dinner with the fam cause it was close to my cousin's birthday and he's heading to the east coast because he got a government job. super exciting, jon!

friday, we returned some unnecessary purchases and took the new boots on their maiden voyage to edgewood park. later, our dad informed us that there had recently been a mountain lion siting. excellent. i tried to do hw that day, but to no avail. that night, we went to hope's good friday service. it was excellent. the attitude was to be mournful over our sin, but to rejoice in work of Christ, knowing that he alone made a way to God. in that knowledge we sang, read, and communed. we had a post-good friday gathering (this seems to be a tradition in my life. from bowling to movie watching to yogurt eating, good friday "after-parties" are truly the norm). it was good to catch up with old friends.

saturday was the reunion tour of the gover-steiger dates. we went to the city, san francisco that is, and walked around the embarcadero at the farmers market. we drank blue bottle coffee, ate some nasty chocolate, and saw some interesting characters. the grovers also agreed to take some photos of me for graduation announcements. i realized how much i am not a fan of having my picture taken. after a bomb lunch, we headed to baker beach to take some more beautiful pictures and enjoy the view. good day to be sure.

sunday started early as we headed to starbucks at 0600 and then to the hinky dilinky at 0615. the service started not too long after. i never realized how much i took standing during worship for granted. it was good to do that again. it was awesome to sing of Christ outside with like-minded believers. then, off to breakfast, not brunch, at the hills. so good to meet new people, catch up with friends, and have "nurse" talk. family came over that evening. it was a struggle with the padre, but what can i do?

today, i started 1 corinthians. i realized how many books of the Bible i have had sermons in or studied snipets of, but never really read them. so 1 corinthians is the first to be dived into. already, i am amazed by our God.

1 corinthians 1:26-31

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'"