azan

it means call to prayer. it's become strangely familiar, especially sometime 5 every evening. i almost wait for it. tonight, sarah and i were on top of a very tall house and were able to look out over the city. i said "what an escape for the business of this city!" she proceeded to add "wouldn't it be crazy if the azan went off?" we checked the time and within seconds "allah...." could be heard in the distance. then another one. then another. there were too many mosques to count, but nobody went to pray. no body fell to their knees in utter devotions. women simply covered their heads and went on, while some of the men chose to mute the tv. then the closest mosque to where we were standing began its song. oh how sad was the man that cried out! was he in utter dispare? was he pleading with those in the town to join him? was his heart utterly distrot for he knew no reason why he should repeat this silly thing again today?
my heart ached. i wish i could say i wepted, but i didn't.

the only thing that kept me sane was (is) "greater things are still to come and greater things are still to be done in this city for there is no one like our God."

oh how amazing it is!

my last post was quite unkind and for that i ask your forgiveness.
during my stay overseas and i have the priveldge to catch up on some much needed reading. the Word has been SO refreshing! also, i have finished voyage of the dawn treader and am alsmost finished with what's so amazing about grace? to latter i wish to address my atttention in this blog.
grace is something i can't seem to wrap my head around. how could this incredibly holy God show grace to such a lowly sinner like me? while i still struggle with God's mercy and glory in this regard, i've learned quite about grace. while the Word is the ultimate authority, i'd like to share some excerpts (sp?) from the book to help relate (the chapter is dealing with legalism in the church...):
-"by its very nature legalism encourages hypocrisy because it defines a set of behavior that may cloak what is going on inside."
-"the more i relfect on the elder son (from the prodigal son) in me, the more i realize how deeply rooted this form of lostness really is and how hard it is to return home from there. returning home from a lustful escapade seems so much easier than returning home from a cold anger that has rooted itself in the deepest corners of my being."
-"repentance, no proper behavior or even holiness, is the doorway to grace. and the opposite of sin is grace, not virtue."
-"law merely indicated the sickness; grace brought back the cure."
-the solution to sin is not to impose an ever-stricture code of behavior. It is to know God."

i could go on and on. but the last few are my favorite. i must know God. during training, someone did a talk on "grace and peace to you." he said, "to those rickshaw drivers who cheat you, give them grace and peace. i think i am slowly understanding what that means in a practical way as God leads me to a deeper repentance and to a deeper sense of grace.

love you guys and am excited to see you and make you real chai :)

i forgot....

well, i am going through a bit of culture shock, so all the things i forgot about this amazing culture i am starting to remember:

1. EVERYWHERE i a trash can. i mean really, cant't you just through it in the garbage?
2. no one cares if you don't want anymore-you'll eat and you'll like it!
3. you can pee out of your butt-yes, that's right. it should be on ripply's or something
4. rickshaw drivers suck. ok, ok, they don't know Jesus, but really, 70 rrp?? no way!
5. can't i just have some toliet paper for my room? i mean, i don't want to ask a bunch of men at the front counter for tp...so embarsing
6. non-verbal communication is sometimes hard to follow. what is it? 80% non-verbal? here-at least 90%. CRAZY!
7. yes, i'm white, i have blonde hair, and i am 5'9"-ish and weigh a whole lot more than your sister, but why do you have to stare all day long?

ok, enough negativity. i still love it. it just gets to me sometimes.

on another not, what the crap is with the new cbu website? "live your purpose?" i mean seriously? and what happened to the nice inside cbu tab? how do i find it stinkin insidecbu? please, somebody....

it's been a week

it's been a week and i am blown away! how can this culture, one so lost so depraved be able to be so hospitible and so kind? i know it is culture, but why is america, a "christian" nation so anti-hospitible? ok, i know we aren't really a christian nation, but still, let's examine the church-we still are not very hospitible. donut time/coffee hour (which is really a half an hour so you don't have to meet too many new peopl), pot lucks where you sit with people you already know, fundraisers, (not really hospitable), and maybe an occasional soup kitchen, (and many of these have hidden motives...). why are we so afraid just to ask people out for coffee? oh, because it costs too much? do we forget how rich we really are? do we forget that God is the God who provides (ok, not to get all prosperity gospel, but if we do his work, surely, our needs willl be met...)? i know am frustrated, but i mean mucgh of this out of love. i want to see our american "church" be different, to be truly set apart, to truly love one another.

hope you all are well.