homesick

tonight, i am more homesick than i've been in a long time.

well, i'm not really sure if most would call this feeling homesick.
i'm techinically at home, afterall.
maybe i use this word for lack of a better one.

what i mean by "homesick" is that i have a
longing for something that feels like home.
i long to be overseas serving the King and people again.
this feels more like home than anything i've ever done.

sure, remnants of this feeling arise

when i serve people here.

i experience and know a sense of purpose,

but that sense is magnified when

in a cross-cultural setting.

so much of me wants to drop everything and just go.
pay off loans little by little until i'm dead,
relying on the steadfast provision of Christ.

another part urges itself to stay,

be responsible and a good steward

of what i have here,

grateful for the provision as is.

both choices are logical,

both have benefits,

both have their own way of bringing

glory to the One worthy.

i'm not writing for answers or pity.

not sure this topic needs either at this point.

prayer? yes, i'll take prayer if you're offering.

however, again i am resolved to wait,

resting on the His timing.

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
     pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us."

Psalm 62:5-8



 

go out

“'Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and the one who receives a righteous person because he is a righteous person will receive a righteous person's reward. And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.'

When Jesus had finished instructing his twelve disciples, he went on from there to teach and preach in their cities."

Matthew 10:40-11:1

peace v. sword

“'Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.'" 

Matthew 10:34-39

fear not

“So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 10:26-33

suffering for the King

“'Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles. When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household.'"

Matthew 10:16-25

sent out

i recently listened to a sermon about this passage of scripture. you can listen to this sermon (and other great ones about the kingship and authority of Christ) here and then choose the sermon entitled "sent by the King." worth your time, trust me.

i was challenged to go out with boldness everyday, knowing that there will be joy and pain in preaching the good news to people. i was reminded that i have a mission from the Sovereign King, a King who has dealt with my biggest problem-sin. i hope you are as encouraged, challenged, and reminded as i was from this section of scripture.

now, this chapter is pretty heavy, so tune in this week for a new section each day.

"And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction. The names of the twelve apostles are these: first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing them, 'Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And proclaim as you go, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand." Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. Acquire no gold or silver or copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, or two tunics or sandals or a staff, for the laborer deserves his food. And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town.'"

Matthew 10:1-15

happy birthday, dr. seuss!

dr. seuss was one of my favorite authors as a child.

i mean, could imagine a world without green eggs and ham?

and let's not forget my personal favorite, cindy lou hoo.

i'm glad we have a day to celebrate the children's author who didn't really like kids.

i'm back on a reading kick,

something i've missed over the past few months.

it may be due to the fact that we have no sofa at present

and that watching tv in the living room has no real pleasure.

or it could be that i've been re-reading the hunger games.

the hunger games.

why is this series so good?

anyway, i'm grateful for suzanne collins.

maybe we'll celebrate her birthday in america one day.

this time through this book series,

i'm seeing way too many parallels between

 america and the capitol, the rest of the world and panem.

i know the books is supposed to have political connotations,

but it's really hitting me this time.

maybe it's because i need to be convicted of my consumerism

or maybe i just over think things.

either way, i'm grateful.

while i love reading about different theologies,

it's hard for me to read at work simple because 

my mind has to be so engaged.

i mean, have you tried to read piper or spurgeon at 3am?

any suggestions on good fiction i should read?