Sunday, March 25, 2012


tonight, i am more homesick than i've been in a long time.

well, i'm not really sure if most would call this feeling homesick.
i'm techinically at home, afterall.
maybe i use this word for lack of a better one.

what i mean by "homesick" is that i have a
longing for something that feels like home.
i long to be overseas serving the King and people again.
this feels more like home than anything i've ever done.

sure, remnants of this feeling arise
when i serve people here.
i experience and know a sense of purpose,
but that sense is magnified when
in a cross-cultural setting.

so much of me wants to drop everything and just go.
pay off loans little by little until i'm dead,
relying on the steadfast provision of Christ.

another part urges itself to stay,
be responsible and a good steward
of what i have here,
grateful for the provision as is.

both choices are logical,
both have benefits,
both have their own way of bringing
glory to the One worthy.

i'm not writing for answers or pity.
not sure this topic needs either at this point.
prayer? yes, i'll take prayer if you're offering.
however, again i am resolved to wait,
resting on the His timing.

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
     pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us."

Psalm 62:5-8



Julie said...

I don't have pity or an answer, but I can make a suggestion. My suggestion is that you come visit me in Thailand. Bring your sister. ;)

{cuppakim} said...

ooh girl. i get that.
so many times i sit on my couch and whine to myself "i wanna go hoooommme"
but i am HOME.
but not HOME HOME.
you know?

i know you are talking about other places in this world...but
i love being reminded of that desire of discontentment in this WORLD and utter contentment in our Jesus and the next! AMEN and AMEN!