goal failure

i pretty much fail at any goal i set.

loose weight and keep it off-

fail.

read a book a month-

fail.

pray and fast weekly-

fail.

read the entire Bible in the course of a year-

fail.

learn to play the guitar-

fail.

and this is just the short list. maybe i'm not disciplined enough? or maybe i lack drive to follow through. i dunno what it is, but the point is that it sucks. i suck. and i know i need to change.

in the slump i've found put myself in over the past 4 months, i know what needed to change. i needed to live in obedience. i needed to live in pursuit of God. but i just wasn't doing it. (amongst other things), the book the pursuit of holiness by jerry bridges kept coming to mind. i had read it years ago and remember it impacting me. now that my faith had grown and my relationship and understanding of God had become deeper, i thought this would be a good book to dive into during a time that lacked (for the loss of a better word) holiness, or the pursuit thereof. yes, i know, those in Christ are made holy by His blood and by His blood alone. yet, i have a part to play in that. as paul says in romans 6:14 "for sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace," and in romans 6:1 "shall we continuing sinning that grace may increase? by no means!" clearly, simple belief in God is not enough. obedience is required. obedience birthed out of love for a kind, loving, just Savior. 

ok, i'm not trying to dig a theological hole here. the Lord saves and sanctifies; by His grace i am able to follow, able to obey. nevertheless, i control my actions and attitude. and those have not been reflective of love and obedience. (did that clarify? i sure hope so)

so i found myself finally picking up the book and finally reading more than the preface. i would love to quote the entire first chapter here, but i won't. buy the book, or borrow it from me when i'm done. it's worth the $8.