can't think of anything...

i know i've been blogging a lot this last week, but i feel like God is teaching me a lot and i have the need to proclaim it.

this year, if you are going on an isp (or usp?) trip, the MOB square has encouraged us all to memorize Joshua 1:9 and Ephesians 6:10-20. i've been grateful for the "forceful" opportunity to memorize scripture again, remembering what a joy it is. i've been trying to utilize my time at the gym as a time for memorization.

today, i was trying to memorize verses 14-20, but i couldn't seem to get passed verse 18. in the NIV, it reads as follows:
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

i went to a seminar last weekend where the speaker talk about things that can happen on the field and how we can get so distracted by the task or by our own feelings, that we don't really serve an appropriate purpose. this verse humbled me because i am to pray ALL of the time. i've known that for so long, but forget what paul says in the rest of the first.

• -we are to pray in the Spirit. what good are we if we don't? i'm not saying that God doesn't hear our prayers, i just wonder what the motivation of our, well my prayers are if they are done through the power of the Spirit.
• -God wants all kinds of prayers-short ones, longs ones, theologically sounding ones, and ones that are crying for help. i guess it comes down to motivation again-the scriptures say that God desires a broken and contrite spirit.
• -be alert: i can't walk through the day expecting the Lord to have someone ask me to pray for them; i must be bold and discern when and where He is wanting to use me to pray for someone and then follow through.
• -always pray for the saints: i need to pray for other believers. i suck at this. i truly desire to pray for others, but i don't. i realized recently that this was lacking in my life, so now i keep a list on people i've committed to pray for on my computer desktop. i still don't pray with the fervor i sense goes in the passage. always pray for all of the saints. that requires a whole lot of knee-time.

i never thought the gym would be such a time of reflection on the Word, but i was/am so blessed by it. i hope paul's words will encourage you to be a person of genuine prayer.

the world of blogging

i just found out that some dear friends have blogs and it makes me SO excited!!! i miss having conversations with them, so i feel as if them blogging is like i'm sitting in the CAD house talking about the blood of Christ, God's wrath and holiness, and the working of the Spirit.

in one of these postings, my friend posted some pretty amazing verses. i felt inclined to share:

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corn 5:12

For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit 1Peter 3:18

When Christ came as high priest of the good things that are already here, he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not man-made, that is to say, not a part of this creation. He did not enter by means of the blood of goats and calves; but he entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, having obtained eternal redemption. The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean. How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! Hebrews 9:1-14

how amazing is our God!!!

feelin like moses

no, not because i've got a cool staff, a beard, or the influence to lead millions of people out of exile. go back a few chapters and you've got what i'm talkin about.

moses always had a passion for God's people and that's probably why he killed the egyptian who was mistreating the hebrew slaves when he was still in egypt. but he ran and lived in a place of complacency and waiting until God was ready to use Him. (exodus 2:11-25)

yesterday in class we watched a movie that had kay warren in it. y'all know how i feel about the warrens. however, i feel as if i need to retract those statements. yes, i disagree with much of their theology, but their actions to have people live their lives in a way pleasing to the Lord is truly excellent. if you don't know, kay warren has a divine obsession with helping people with AIDS (in africa specifically) and making people aware of this devistating pandemic. while i watched the video i cried, well almost. i felt ashamed of crying because i'm not doing anything right now to assist in this situation. i had forgotten my passion for this people amongst school and "life" concerns. i praise God that He has reminded me of this desire to specifically serve this people group. while watching that movie, i fought with God. i was screaming in my head like a child, "LET ME GO! let me leave this place and go NOW! i'm sick of this life where i am sucked into materialism and want to be THERE, physically utilizing everything i can to bring healing in all demontions to people!" God gentley reminded me of moses. "wait, don't be rash. My plans are better." through the day, i struggled with how to react to that video, how to react to suffering everywhere. "I WANT TO GO!" i screamed. God patiently answered back "not yet. not now."

i have confidence that God will use my life in some capacity to help those with HIV/AIDS and those suffering physically in general. but while i learn to wait, i must rest in the famous words of isaiah:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

Isa 40:28-31

enfield

i don't really post about music stuff, mostly because i'm musically challenged. however, after being back in san mateo over christmas, i was enlightened to the worshipful musical stylings of enfield. not only is this group musically talented and kind to listen to with their occassional ochrestral accompaniament, but the words are Biblical. they sing about Jesus the Christ in a true way that is refreshing. with that, i encourage you to check them out. get started with songs like "here am i" and "eternal praise." hopefully these songs can bless you as they have blessed me.

friends forever!

my youth group has a facebook page that i haven't joined because it consists mostly of people from the '80s and '90s. i randomly started looking through the photos, recognizing some of the people from when i was a kidlet running around the church longing to be one of them. now that i find myself in this age group, i see so many of my friends getting married and some moving away. i get scared that we will loose touch or only talk through facebook aka the lamest form of communication ever. as i kept looking through those pictures from the eighties, i started to see those familiar faces, people that i still see at church today, but they were with people that they are still friends with. i'm truly comforted by this, but i am not in some fantasyland either. i recognize that God has plans for me and for my friends so that we may HIS name, whether that leaves us in San Mateo, CA or takes us to San Mateo, Rizal. i'm thankful that God reminds me of these things and of the unity i have with people because of His Son.

on another note, i saw slumdog millionare last night with rachel, who graciously saw it a second time with me. this has got to be one of the best movies i've seen in years! i know i have a totaly bias, but really, it has such an accurate portrayal of a country that leaves its people no way out except corruption. i wish i could explain the wonder of this movie even more, but just go and then we can talk about it over some chai. rachel told me that the kids in the movie are actually from the slums. the money they get for the movie will be kept in a trust so that they can use it when they can be responsible for it. also, the children's education is being paid for and there is assurance that they will go to school (escorts?). anyway, it's pretty awesome. if you want to see it, i would happily go see it with you!

(untitled)

yesterday was pretty amazing. i'm proud that we finally have an african-american as our president even though i do not agree with most of his politics platforms. i'm sad that it took our country so long to get to this place.

my friend jillian posted a blog linking to this other blog. it was good and i recommend that you take the time to read it.

i think that we need to fall in line with former president bush, and of course paul ;), and pray not only for this administration, but the obama family.

TAWG

i think i started saying this when i was in joshua.

i hated calling time with God "quiet time." what if i don't want to be quiet? i think the people who came up with this were advocates of taking psalm 46:10 out of context. devotional? what does that mean anyway? "i'm going to devote this time to the Lord?" nah, too cheese ball.

so i went with "tawg"-time alone with God. that's the essence of the thing right? i need to take time out of my day to spend time alone with God to listen, to learn, to be renewed.

*********

i was searching for a alternative chapel application, much to my dismay. as i scrolled up, i saw these random letters. i totally did a double take. it read "TAWG book.pdf" WHAT!? i'm glad to share the term. well, helpfully not arrogant enough to think i'm the only one who uses it, but i was SHOCKED! who posted that? does this person share my disdain for the other christian-eeze words and thus, adopted another???

anyway, if you have insite into this current mystery, please pass it along!

i don't practice what i preach

as an ra, i encouraged quite a few of my residences to lean on God during difficult times. and these were fairly difficult times at that. this last semester, i've had some connections with hardship, but never really experienced it. still, i passed out the advice to rely on the Lord, to remember that when we are weak, He is strong.

well, today i found out hume lake is not taking me on as their nurse intern and told me only after i pursued the matter. i found this out via email during one of my really....well, let's say less enjoyable classes. it really got my day off to the wrong start. then, after nearly falling asleep in class, i found out that my meal plan would not be decreased. quite dissappointing considering it was wednesday afternoon and i had maybe used five of my meals. i threw a hudge pity party, but worse is that i got mad. i was heated!

my minuture and meaningless "hardships" are just that, nothing in light of others' sufferings. people go days without food and here i sit complaing about having options with too much fat. moreover, my miniscule sufferings are nothing when illuminated by the cross of Christ. how dare i?! how dare i tell others to look to Him and i not do the same! how dare i get so self-focused and loose focus on why i wanted those two things in the first place!

Father, thank you for reminding me of my weakness and hypocrisy. forgive me for acting out of old desires and help me to walk anew, turned fully towards the cross. help me to remember to extend grace and peace to those that i would much rather curse.

flying spaghetti monster???

i was stumbling because i was avoiding my informatics homework, (side note: the use should use this textbook should be used as a form of torture by the u.s. army). i stumbled upon a wikipedia site dedicated to the flying spaghetti monster.

i was talking with one of co-workers this summer about the flying spaghetti monster, but i guess i didn't realize what a big deal it was. check it out and let me know what you think!

thanks to an old friend

well, this friend isn't old, i've just known her for a while. i was just reading her blog and it reminded me of why i should even have a blog-to give glory to Lord of all.

i truly hope that this year you will read words from me that reflect Christ and not myself.

gettin old

i can't believe i just turned 23. i mean, really?! my friends kept calling me old last night and i all could think was "if i'm old, what does that make you since your 4-12 years older than me?"

but i can't help reflecting on this magnificent thing called life. how blessed i am that God has given it to me that i might experience Him and tell others about His glorious name! how blessed am i that i am under this crazy thing called grace in the name of Jesus Christ because i have declared Him Lord.

let's take a tangent for a sec. grace. i so wish i understood it better. i can't even seem to wrap my brain around it! the God, the creator of all who has the write to crush mankind, you and me, in an instant because of our wicked nature, but He doesn't. that alone shows so much grace. the fact that i am still alive after 23 years of so much wickedness must prove that their is a God of grace. but i love that it gets better. i love that God was rich in mercy and proved his love towards us by sending Christ to die instead of us! WHAT!?!? doesn't this boggle your mind!? i know most people who read this, (if anyone does), know this story and know who Jesus the Christ is, etc., but how often do we try to grapple with the riches of His grace?

i can't even begin to understand this. i know it to be true and i am amazed by this God who has called me child. sometimes i feel like paul in philippians 3 when he says:

"If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless."

i spent so much of my last 23 years living in legalism, felling entitled to the presence of God. how dare i in sight of the work of Christ on the cross? to that, i follow in line with paul:

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

so i guess in a sense, this is my resolution for the year. i so desire to cling and strive towards Christ and nothing else. i feel like this is always my resolution, whether at the beginning of the year or hopefully daily, but i hope this year God will take me into a greater understanding of Him and His glorious grace.