i am such a fool.


i just posted something on sf and the fun that i perceive it might be. but as i spent time catching up on my blogs, i found this. don't watch the videos just because and know that i don't post them with lack of care. rather, know that the Spirit of the Almighty is at work and be drawn to your knees in repentance and steadfast, eagar prayer.

i left my heart in san francisco

my friend from nursing school told me that she might be moving to san fran once we graduate.

please believe, this made my heart oh so happy! this, of course, got me looking into sf hospitals and new grad programs. this led to me searching through the different districts and all the fun places to see and things to do. did you know there are three lakes in golden gate park?! and there is a place called strawberry hill (almost like strawberry field)?!

ok, so who's gonna take the sf/golden gate walking tour with me over spring break???? tentative dates are 3/13-3/20. please, let me know if you are interested!

brother john

i should read my blog subscriptions before i post a blog.

john piper is truly anointed by God to communicate truth.

dearest oswald

i used to read my utmost for His highest a lot in high school, but then it became common place. i may have tried to pick it up again while in college, but it was either too convicting or required too much discipline for me to keep on reading it.

i picked it up again after a friend kept texting me to read that day's excerpt. i was so moved/convicted by its words, that i've been reading it again.

today's excerpt read the following:

The Initiative Against Dreaming

"Arise, let us go hence." John 14:31

Dreaming about a thing in order to do it properly is right; but dreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong. After Our Lord had said those wonderful things to His disciples, we might have expected that He would tell them to go away and meditate over them all; but Our Lord never allowed "mooning." When we are getting into contact with God in order to find out what He wants, dreaming is right; but when we are inclined to spend our time in dreaming over what we have been told to do, it is a bad thing and God's blessing is never on it. God's initiative is always in the nature of a stab against this kind of dreaming, the stab that bids us "neither sit nor stand but go."

If we are quietly waiting before God and He has said - "Come ye yourselves apart," then that is meditation before God in order to get at the line He wants; but always beware of giving over to mere dreaming when once God has spoken. Leave Him to be the source of all your dreams and joys and delights, and go out and obey what He has said. If you are in love, you do not sit down and dream about the one you love all the time, you go and do something for him; and that is what Jesus Christ expects us to do. Dreaming after God has spoken is an indication that we do not trust Him.

i was skeptical of today's reading because the title was "the initiative against dreaming." well, that seemed oh so offense to the girl who loves to get lost in dreams. but i was challenged to think differently. if i love God and truly delight in Him, then i will, nay-must trust Him to do what He has said. it's crazy that most of my issues in my relationship with God revolve around pride and a lack of trust. i want to be stripped of those things that i may worship God more fully...

new dreams

ok, i always have some new idea, but i'm SUPER excited for this one!!!

i didn't think i'd like working outpatient surgery, but i've loved it! i would love to work in a unit like that some day. one of my favorite parts of working there is interacting with the different types of doctors and nursing staff. yes, i have my favorite surgeon and i have my favorite nurse, but i can't figure out a favorite anesthesiologist.


and i think that's because i love them. i love their job and the way they assist the patients. i love that they are, essentially, licensed drug dealers. dude, what an awesome job!


and did you know that you don't have to be an md to be one?!? oh, that's right. nurses can be them too-certified registered nurse anesthetist. but how can a nurse achieve this? let me tell ya:

1. A Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN) or other appropriate baccalaureate degree.
2. A current license as a registered nurse.
3. At least one year of experience as a registered nurse in an acute care setting.
4. Graduation with a master’s degree from an accredited nurse anesthesia educational program. As of October 2009 there were 109 nurse anesthesia programs in the United States utilizing more than 1,900 approved clinical sites. These programs range from 24-36 months, depending upon university requirements. All programs include clinical training in university-based or large community hospitals.
5. Pass a national certification examination following graduation.

i'm almost half way there! ok, actually, i meet no requirements yet, but by june i should have 1 and 2 out of the way. then, some experience, some more schooling, and another test. bada-bing, bada-boom-CRNA here i come!


do you think i jest? oh no, my new dream is to be a CRNA!!! i'm SO excited!!!!! there are three programs in this state that offer a CRNA. one just happens to be in the bay area.

Samuel Merritt University
Program of Nurse Anesthesia
School of Nursing - Providence Pavilion
3100 Summit Street, 3rd Floor
Oakland, CA 94609

so maybe i will be applying for more jobs in the east bay.


there you have it. a new dream has been sparked. whether good or bad.

the olympics

my friend kim hosts a mean olympic party. i was so sad when i learned i missed out on it this year. while i'm excited for the 2012 summer olympic party, i cannot express my excitement for my new goal:

that's right, 2012 in london. call me crazy, but this is my new ambition! think of the ability to tell people about Jesus!!! and it be apart of something so epic! and to see LONDON!!!

look out, london-i'll see you in 2012!!!

bleh

my heart hurts again. i thought so much would change and only joy could come from charting new waters.

Jesus, remind me of your grace. Remind me of your love so that i may should others. make me steadfast and constrained to You!

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." -1 Cor. 15:58

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:4-7

"Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." Eph. 1:2

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls." Heb 10:39

road rage

i'm pretty sure i've figured out why people are so angry so often:


i almost feel like a grown up. i mean, i work eight hours a day, four days a week and go to school another day. i have to balance work, school, isp, homework, church and its related activities, friends, etc. the only thing that doesn't make me a real-live adult-->no pay check.

during my grown up days at the hospital, i spend a minimum of 20 minutes commuting to a location that should only be 10 minutes away. some days, it takes me 30 minutes. i get really angry during these episodes of congestion. i mean, where do the cars come from? one minute me and the other four cars on the 91 are chuggin' along at a hefty 70mph, and the next, we can't even go 5mph. i just don't understand!


the worst was today when there were multiple lanes merging onto the freeway and people trying to get off the freeway to avoid the traffic. i don't know what made me so upset, but i was.

but isn't that it?! traffic. traffic makes people so angry! if we had to commute less in life, then we would be happier people.



or maybe if we all knew Jesus and treated each other like we valued Him....one of these.

i feel....wicked!

well, i'm back after a month off and i thought i'd try a new font. thoughts? this month, the amigas and i are not watching tv, so expect lots o' blogs. i still have 307 blog posts to read from the past month, so i apologize for the late comments in advance.

i turned 24 about a month ago. i lost my insurance today. wicked. for my birthday, my mom, sister, and i went to see "wicked" in SF and it was SO awesome! we had great seats and i loved it more this time because...well, i don't really know why. i'm just weird. but i love the line when alfaba's with fiaro and she says, "for the first time, i feel...WICKED!" that's the theme of this blog because this month has been filled with wicked things:


my nursing class found out that our pinning ceremony was moved to a wed and our graduation is on saturday. to protest and advocate, we wrote letters. apparently, we did this incorrectly and got quite a lashing today. i was one of the main proponents of the letter writing. actually, i wrote the letters. yep, feelin pretty wicked.

it's isp season again and it's almost time to begin the annual isp nursing flower sale. well, i kinda went ahead and ordered flowers without consulting any one. no team leaders, no past leaders, just did it. again, feelin wicked.

my friend and i handed some food out to the homeless a few weeks ago. this act is illegal in riverside. we also j-walked multiple times. just call me a law-breaker-or wicked.

i went to look at laptops with the intention of buying one. as i was making my final decision, i called my dad who, of course, shot me down. this is an almost wicked occurrence.

i got back to riverside after christmas break, had class one day, and then didn't have class again for thirteen days. one of those days, i sat in the same chair almost ALL day. i don't know if that qualifies as wicked, stupid, or sluggard.



i think that's about it for wicked things. i mean, i do plenty of things that actually fall into the category of biblical wickedness daily, but i don't think you want me to flush those things out now. i'm sure i'll think of other things to update you on.