Three Months

today is the official three month marker of life at the ashram.
and it was also one of the biggest emotional 
roller coasters of my time here.

the day started out at 5:15am with a phone call,
a patient who had been very sick was dying 
and i was asked to come check him out.
i headed downstairs.
couldn't feel a pulse, could barely see his chest rise and fall.
i could hear his heart beat with my stethoscope.
checked his sugar, tried to check his vitals.
couldn't see him breath, so i listened again.
silence.

later that morning, we found out another patient had died.
we helped clean and prepare the bodies.
the men of the ashram gathered to remember.
all i could think was, "again God?"


with a heavy heart, i set out for the old delhi learning center.
once there, i was greeted with huge smiles and an abundance of hugs.
vibrant energy filled the room.
i can't really describe the joy and privilege it brings to sit with children who basically have nothing, 
but who smile and play and love despite their material "insufficiency".
and i get to love them back.
my heart almost burst!


when i arrived back at the ashram,
three new patients were here.
and, as my teammate said,
three more lives to share great love with
for the sake of Christ.



today was filled with extremes.
so much sorrow,
so much joy.
and as difficult as today has been,
i am grateful for it.
it has been a reminder of what is important.
life is short.
really short.
but love has come and love has won.
Christ has come and Christ has won the victory.


as i look forward to the coming months,
i pray that my love of God will be abundant.
and i pray that my love for people will increase along with it.
with eagerness and expectation,
i look forward to what God will do here.
and i seriously cannot wait to join in!



cincerely,

cindy

Simple Faith

guys.
it's 2015.
what the what!?

i also turned another year older yesterday.
i'm almost not twenty
and that's hella weird. 

i didn't always love having my birthday so close 
to christmas and the new year.
but now that i'm older, i really like it.
i am doubly reminded of all the good that has happened
and am energized with new and fresh starts.

i'm not the biggest fan of "new year's" blogs.
but this year, i really felt the need to write one.
so continue reading at your own risk

i came to india with the theme of "be brave with your life."
i think this is still very much the theme, 
but in 2015, i want to rephrase it.
"live with a simple faith."

i don't know about you, but i have a tendency to over think things.
i want to analyze the situation and all the possible outcomes,
and maybe then i'll make a decision.
maybe.
it's not bad to do that, but when it comes to following Jesus, 
it can be crippling.
 
Jesus told us to have faith like a child. 
we have a patient at the ashram who has developmental delays
and acts like a child,
and i love it.
he is constantly smiling and laughing,
and he is constantly working hard and helping wherever he can.
no questions asked.
he acts in simple faith.
he is a constant reminder to have faith like a child,
serving with joy.

this is what i want for the coming year.
i so long to be the kind of person who just says yes.
    yes to going on sporadic trips,
    yes to zip lining,
    yes to driving into delhi by myself,
    yes to praying for the stranger,
    yes to sharing Christ in whatever hindi i have,
    yes to risk being a fool for the sake of Christ.

the goal for 2015?
live with simple faith,
for Christ's glory,
and my good.


Lord, help me to follow you with a simple faith.
give me the grace to trust you deeply enough to walk
into whatever you call with simple faith.
continue to help me be brave with this life you have gifted.

#cindymovestoindia

howdy y'all!
last time, i told y'all about my exciting move.
this time, i'd like to give you some more detail.

at the end of october, i'll be heading to north india. 
as of now, i'll be serving for about 10 months.
while there, i'll be functioning as a nurse 
and working with an amazing organization.

our shared goal: 
share Jesus by being His hands and feet 
to a broken and weary people.
they are all about sharing love and grace 
to the broken and hurting.
it's about living out the gospel amongst hopeless. 

guys, this is why i became a nurse.
to be a physical conduit of who Christ is and all that He's about. 
 
it's unreal that this life dream is becoming reality.
so many times i've lost hope that this dream would actually happen.
but through the years, God has been prepping me for this moment
and i am abundantly grateful that He is faithful.
 

there is a lot to get done before i go:
moving, visa getting, insurance buying,
and the list goes on.
i also need to raise some funds.
i don't have the final numbers quite yet, 
but would be so grateful if you would start thinking 
and praying about giving.

and i will need some serious prayer support.
i know i will face challenges daily, 
but i also know that the Lord answers prayers.
so please consider being a part of my prayer team.

i'd like to extend a huge thank you for all of the 
love and support i've already received!
i have been overwhelmed with the amount of texts, calls, and hugs.
my words of affirmation tank is overflowing!
thank you for already joining me on this crazy journey
and for continuing to walk with me.


cincerely,


cindy

10 on 10: sunday snippets

happy ten on ten!
hope you enjoy ten snippets of my day
and away we go....

good morning snuggles

fall is great

pre church planting fuel

k garne?

 

hope juniors

 

kaepernick, harbaugh: nice to see ya.

matching beers for our matching jerseys.

post game grass fire?

peace out, candlestick

new candle and Jesus-time catch up

it was quite a day.
linking up



cincerely,

cindy

10 on 10: simple blessings

i haven't felt like blogging much of late
and i really didn't want to blog today.
it has been a rough two years month day
and i finally closed the page on a joyous, yet painful book.

as i struggled with whether or not to participate
in 10 on 10 this month,
the Lord convicted me to photograph blessings 
that He has provided this day,
no matter how small.

here are a few examples of some simple blessings:

love hate relationship with my bed;

i love to be in it and i hate getting out

 a family that loves to explore

clean towels

this song.

repeat, repeat, repeat.

a beautiful place to workout.

 a head band acquired in Nepal 
that reminds me of where i've been

and that God isn't done with me yet.

clean dishes!

coworkers i can count on to eat my stress baking

 

these girls make everything awesome



   

cincerely,

*blessed* cindy

it still hurts

when you loose someone special in your life,
it takes a while for the hurt to go away.
tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my grandmother passing
and i'm not sure the hurt is ever going to go away.

despite missin' her somethin' fierce, 
i find immense joy in the fact that 
she is with her Savior in heaven.

today i went through some photos with my mom.
it was sweet to remember my grandma and 
how many different hats she wore.

a daughter, sister, and cousin

a friend

a mother

 a hard worker

 a beauty

 a family woman

grandmother 

 babysitter extraordinaire

adventurer

more than any of these things, 

i remember my grandmother's love for Jesus.

every chance she got, she would share about Him.

she didn't care if you had the same faith or not,

if you were eight or eighty,

or if you spoke her language.

 her bible was littered with markings

from years of studying

as painful as not having her cheerful laugh

and convicting spirit on earth,

i can't wait to be reunited with her one day

as we worship God together for all eternity.

Eleanor Dorothea Jacobs

September 1, 1916-April 9, 2012

10 on 10: i love sundays

sundays are by far my favorite days of the week.
here's a glimpse into a pretty perfect one.

 collecting flu specimens

 lunch over EKG interpretation practice

 cartwheels

 boredom selfies

 gorgeous SF mornings

helping to lead the Body before His Throne

 animated teacher meets animated students

blessing those in need, one bag of hope at a time

ridin' classy

eating soda in a cooked cake

sigh.

another sunday well spent.

linked up

cincerely,

cindy

and that's a wrap!

well folks, 2012 is about to be over.
when i was a kid, adults would tell me time would go by even faster when i grew up.
that's one of the truest statements i've ever heard.

this year has been a good one.
let's review, shall we?

i turned 26, celebrating the last year of my mid-twenties.

i also participated in intensive training weekend at my alma mater, 

watching four hundred staff and students eager to serve the Lord.

i watched hope church spread it's wings

as we sent teams to south sudan

and partnered with hurting people there 

as well as in its neighboring country of sudan,

proclaiming Christ all the way.

i loved getting be a part, however small, of God's work in a post-sandy new jersey, 

and spending some precious time with my friend who returned from 

the field after two years in southeast asia. 

i was able to watch four of my dear sisters get married,

went to a few concerts,

and watched and listened to a bunch of giants games.

oh, did i mention that the giants won the world series?

cause they did.

went to tahoe with my sisters and discovered snowshoeing is one of my favorite things.

went to hawaii with my fam,

hiking in yosemite for the first time i can remember,

and hung out in sunny san diego.

said goodbye to my beloved grandmother 

as she went to be with the Lord

and said goodbye to our sweet puppy.

all dogs go to heaven, right?

baked and tried some new recipes,

read a lot of good books,

listened to some fantastic sermons,

and read some soul piercing and spirit quenching scripture. 

and those are just the highlights!

2012 will definitely go in the books as a fantastic year.

as for 2013,

what will it hold?

i have no clue!

but i know that i'm not making any resolutions, per say.

i simply strive towards what i always want:

to love Jesus more and to know Him more,

all the while serving and loving people.

of course i pray that this year would be the year i get to go overseas,

or that i would actually run that half marathon, 

or have some miraculous attitude transformation 

to be a hard core health nut.

but instead of setting my standards on things,

and things often too lofty,

i will set my gaze on Christ,

trusting in His perfect timing and all-sufficient grace,
praying i would fight through laziness and self-absorption.

^"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

ephesians 3:12-14

cincerely,

cindy