follower of Jesus

this is how i try to identify myself when someone asks me what i believe. i get a lot of eyebrow raises and confused faces, especially in san fran, but it's good.

about a year ago, i got it in my head that i needed to memorize the sermon on the mount. i mean, it's a concentrated group of teachings of the One i claim to follow. it seems logical that i should know what He teaches if i am going to follow Him. (disclaimer: i by no means think anyone needs to memorize this portion of scripture to gain salvation or a better standing with God. it was just something it seemed that the Spirit was pressing on my heart). 

so, about a week ago, (guilty face and clearing of my throat), i actually started memorizing these chapters. well, i'm only through verse 12(ish) of chapter 5, but God is already using it!

i was working on memorizing it at work and had at least 3 spiritual conversations! Praise HIM! when i get discouraged or when it seems like my co-workers keep me out of conversations because they know i follow Him, i am comforted of the eternality of Christ.

the verse that has been on my heart and mind the most is matthew 5:6-Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

 

 

satisfied:  content; paid or discharged in full, as a debt or obligation.

 

 

i don't search a prideful, self-centered righteousness. i can do that any day. but i long to thirst and hunger for righteousness that comes from God (philippians 3:9), for only in the righteousness of Christ will i be satisfied; He paid my debt, He alone makes me clean, He alone can satisfy (or make content) my all-too-often parched soul.

i challenge you to memorize scripture. you are "forced" to repeat and dwell on holy words that alone satisfy.

the radical experiment-part 2

so basically, i've sucked at this.

1. pray for the entire world

i've sucked at praying for the nations daily.

2. read through the entire scripture

 

i've been reading through the Bible chronologically.

 

 

 

 

3. sacrfice your money for a specific purpose

 

sacrifice? can you define that please?

 

4. spend your time in another context

 

i've been making plans to go overseas in august/september.

 

5. commit your life to multiplying community

 

i go to chipotle sunday and Bible study. can i multiple those that eat chipotle? 

so this hasn't been going so well. i never realized how much intentionality it would take to stay committed to these things. but i hope that i will have a partner in this experiment (and that we can consistently get together to do these things) and that we will be able to provide accountability.

post-october thoughts

i wrote this blog before the month of october started. now time for the post-test.

i spent 4/5 weekends of this month out of town. i was gonna call it "three weddings and a funeral," but it's too soon. instead, "three weddings and a work day" will have to remain as the title. 

• i successfully attend three of my good friends' weddings. the first, in bakersfield. i got to use my federal employement for a sick discount at a hotel, got to catch up with some great nursing friends, and spend some much needed time with Jesus during my 8 hours in the car. 
• the next weekend, i headed to riverside and was in one of my best friend's wedding. it was a honor to stand with this woman as she committed to serve and honor one of my dear brothers! that weekend was a bit of a fiasco between rental cars, hotel reservations, trying to hang out with other friends, and my mind in ten other places. but the Lord showed His strength and faithfulness every step of the way!
• the next weekend i attended another wedding in riverside. that weekend got off to a bit of a stressful start, but i was able to spend a night catching up with a dear friend in fres-yes (member of the PTC) and then saying farewell to another friend who will be serving overseas for more time than i care to admit. (i'm in denial-jealously).
• the following weekend, i took a mini-road trip with a long-time friend to sacramento. we went to serve with some friends at a work day/beautification project in del paso heights. it was a blessing and joy to do physical labor for the Lord again! hope, we are SO going next year! it was also such a blessing to play nertz until 2am and laugh a whole lot with good friends!
• that sunday, ang and i drove back to san mateo and i was able to attend my first am service with hope church of san mateo. i really have no words to describe how amazing that service was, except that it felt right.
•   the fifth weekend of october i spent at work. yep, that's about all on that weekend.

the month was truly an emotional rollercoaster. i cried more in this month than i have the entire year combined, (and probably the last 2 years combined if i really think about it), but i laughed and celebrated more than the year combined as well.

lessons confronted with: trust God, for He alone is faithful.  i don't know if i've wholeheartedly learned this, (and probably never will), but i am glad that the Lord hasn't given up reminding me of Him. i pray He never does.

october, you were good times, but i'm ready to move on. until next year....

blog attack

It's comin.

Wait for it....

....Wait for it..........

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

lack of internet

I know. I have this fancy new phone with the internet, but it is not condusive to affective blogging. My thoughts go faster than my two thumbs can text. this, and my lack of internet at home contribute to my lack of blogging.

And i have a lot to blog.


But, in short, I'm wholistically exhausted. Yes, sometimes even spiritual tired. it seems the more i pray to be consumed with God alone, the more temptations "appear" to be consumed with things not of Him.

I heard a prof say once that life only gets busier as you get older. I found that hard to believe as a college student. Life could NEVER get busier than nursing school! How naive i was! Life is busy, but it is sweet. I am blessed with amazing friends and fun, as well as challenging, times with them. Despite the challenges and the business, i wouldnt trade these sweet times for much.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

update?

it's not a very good update, but here's what's been goin on:

• was at one of my best friend's wedding this weekend. it was an amazingly beautiful and an amazingly hard weekend. 
• i discovered i have issues when someone tells me to be serious. i just start laughing. sorry, jennifer and johnny, if i ruined your "serious face" wedding photos.
• i have control issues. i tried to and eventually rented a car this weekend. i broke down twice because things ended up outside of my control. God, thank you for breaking me down and i pray You would continue to do so!
• i don't have to say goodbye to a dear friend until this saturday. PTL because i had no emotional drop left in my body for her farewell this weekend!
• i have had a four-day weekend! praise God for colombus day because i needed it!
• i love chipotle. (love is not an understatement)
• just found out i don't have to start paying my loans back until december 1. HOLLER!
• don't buy shoes online. bad things happen to your feet.
• hope church "launched." i have a lot of mixed feelings about it, but even at church in riverside, God confirmed that what we are doing is for Him and that He is working through us to magnify His name! to You alone be the glory, our Perfect God!
• i have to vote in about a month and i have no idea who to vote for!
• i get delusional when i have cried for 2 hours and have had little sleep over the previous week.
• my friends are amazing! i couldn't have asked for better friends and praise God for them daily!

this is it, for now. october is a little less than half way finished, and i still have one more wedding and a work day to conquer.Thank God that His power is made perfect in my weakness!

cry for today

Psalm 63

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
   as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
   beholding your power and glory.

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
   my lips will praise you.

So I will bless you as long as I live;
   in your name I will lift up my hands.

 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
   and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
   and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
   and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

My soul clings to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

 But those who seek to destroy my life
    shall go down into the depths of the earth;
they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
   they shall be a portion for jackals.

But the king shall rejoice in God;
   all who swear by him shall exult,
    for the mouths of liars will be stopped.