no, not me. the widow of fred winters, cindy winters, in an interview shares her faith and truly preaches love and forgiveness in Christ.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
what a sweet treasure
i can't remember if i've blogged about this before, but earlier in the semester, i was heavily convicted of my idolization of culture. i cutlure can so easily take the place of God in my life because it is so tangeable. i pray that God is continually stripping me of this sin and leading me to repentance and renewal.
yesterday i listened to a brother paul sermon regarding matthew 13:43-44:
"Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear. 'The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field....'"
it was contrasted with Matthew 19:16,21-22
"And behold, a man came up to him, saying, 'Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?' ... Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth."
this is why i go. among the affluence of america, i do not want to turn into the man of great wealth who seemingly did good in the eyes of God-but mostly others-when in reality and i have betrayed the cause of Christ. Jesus Christ is a precious treasure and i long to make His name known among the nations! oh, that my focus would return to Him not just in moments of crisis or times to glorify myself, but in everything. oh Lord, help me to value Christ more and more, so that i will be able not just to sell everything, but "risk" everything for the sake of Your name, confident in and sure of Your faithfulness!
yesterday i listened to a brother paul sermon regarding matthew 13:43-44:
"Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear. 'The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field....'"
it was contrasted with Matthew 19:16,21-22
"And behold, a man came up to him, saying, 'Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?' ... Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth."
this is why i go. among the affluence of america, i do not want to turn into the man of great wealth who seemingly did good in the eyes of God-but mostly others-when in reality and i have betrayed the cause of Christ. Jesus Christ is a precious treasure and i long to make His name known among the nations! oh, that my focus would return to Him not just in moments of crisis or times to glorify myself, but in everything. oh Lord, help me to value Christ more and more, so that i will be able not just to sell everything, but "risk" everything for the sake of Your name, confident in and sure of Your faithfulness!
Monday, March 23, 2009
thoughts
today when i got back from winco with kimber, i went to makin my own trail mix. i decided to listen to a sermon since i had been hit hard by the words of mr. piper earlier in the morning regarding the "achilles heal" of the modern generation. i chose a Paul Washer sermon since i hadn't listen to him in some time and chose one entitled "bibleical manhood." i don't know what i expected. to fit more on my "list" for the perfect man? certainly not! but i seem to glean so much from such sermons and since it was a mere 50mins, i gave it a whirl.
why was this preached at a conference merely for men? do women not also need to be reminded of their responsibilities to families and the calling of Christ? i understand mr. washer's point, but i resonated with so much of what he said. in fact, the definition that he gave for a godly man is one that i strive for in my own life. i don't think it is restricted merely to the male sex. i'm not trying to blurr gender roles or to mix-up the wonderful and divine plan of the Lord, but women, too, need to have powerful words spoken into their lives about truth and not always about rainbows and butterflies.
mr. washer gave an example of how he longed to be back in an overseas context, recognizing that the dificulty of those circumstances are all too often easier than the difficulty of apathy encounter in the u.s. he proceeded to call men to the field, to which i say, mr. washer, please do not forget that women also resonate deeply with what you are saying and cannot wait for the difficulties that await in distant lands.
i know this blog would be better if i could quote what he said, but i don't have time at the moment. the teeth must be scrubbed and rest for the eyes must be gained.
why was this preached at a conference merely for men? do women not also need to be reminded of their responsibilities to families and the calling of Christ? i understand mr. washer's point, but i resonated with so much of what he said. in fact, the definition that he gave for a godly man is one that i strive for in my own life. i don't think it is restricted merely to the male sex. i'm not trying to blurr gender roles or to mix-up the wonderful and divine plan of the Lord, but women, too, need to have powerful words spoken into their lives about truth and not always about rainbows and butterflies.
mr. washer gave an example of how he longed to be back in an overseas context, recognizing that the dificulty of those circumstances are all too often easier than the difficulty of apathy encounter in the u.s. he proceeded to call men to the field, to which i say, mr. washer, please do not forget that women also resonate deeply with what you are saying and cannot wait for the difficulties that await in distant lands.
i know this blog would be better if i could quote what he said, but i don't have time at the moment. the teeth must be scrubbed and rest for the eyes must be gained.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
spring break, etc.
i'm mostly unpacked and have the final load of laundry in the drier after this crazy whirlwind of a spring break. kimber and i left on friday afternoon and headed up 101 to my house. we left tuesday around noon and headed to her house in clio. on friday afternoon, we went south to my roommate's house in bishop. this morning we left bishop at 4:50am so we could be in riverside by 10am for church. mission: accomplished. three houses, countless highways and freeways, one trip to yummy yogurt, and one ticket later, and we are back. as with most breaks, minimal homework was completed, but much needed friendship time was had. here are some pics.
in san fran
at kimber's
pulled over
to bishop
with jen and kimber at a show in bishop
as i sit watching the incredible cheesey mama mia, i am reminded of some things God has been teaching me and emphasized over break, (i know, a strange time for me to remember the Lord....)
in san fran
at kimber's
pulled over
to bishop
with jen and kimber at a show in bishop
as i sit watching the incredible cheesey mama mia, i am reminded of some things God has been teaching me and emphasized over break, (i know, a strange time for me to remember the Lord....)
- 1) just wait. i think i've listened to a dozen sermons a waiting in the last few weeks, not to mention the countless scriptures that scream to wait on God. i know i will continue to dream and hope for things in the future-it is a chronic condition with me-but i hope that the Lord will continue to change my thinking so that my focus is on things of the eternal.
- 2) sacrifice and suffering are good. i have forgotten this somewhere in the last few years. slowly, like the frog boiling water, i lost an eternal perspective and a Godly perspective in terms of suffering and sacrifice. i pray that God will restore my previous understanding and grow it.
- 3) trust Him. i hate not having control and i was stretched a lot this week because i couldn't drive any where. i had to trust not only the driver but God. my dependence was on others and i therefore ran to the Lord. as the song goes, "i reliquish control, i can't find peace on my own, so i lay down my life at the foot of Your throne."
- 4) talking about the things of God produces sweet times and deepens friendship. i long for the days when that is life. now, please refer back to #1
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
follow-up
it's not about the title this time, simply the blog.
someone approached me about my last blog, somewhat concerned. i didn't mean to arose that emotion by any means. i am fine but the weekend was harder than i expected. while i do NOT doubt the holy and just LORD, i am still broken over the death of this man. i still want to cry once in a while, but that is part of grieving. the Bible talks about all of the saints rejoicing when evil is banished into hell and i'm sure i will rejoice when in heaven too, but until sanctification is in full effect, my perspective i think will sadly remain skewed. i still grieve for this man because he did not fall in love with the magnificent God and Father. it makes me want to shout from the roof tops even more-and maybe that's the purpose of such a death.
i thank you for your prayers. while i may not have done much, my family was definitely a light to this man's family, especially his wife.
i feel so old saying this, but life is so surreal and time seems to pass so quickly! i pray that the Lord would give me the ability to change my mindset of what i think is my time to His time. i pray that He would give me the ability to surrender more and more of wasted moments to Him, so that time would be consumed with Him for His glory among San Mateo, Riverside, and all the nations of the world.
someone approached me about my last blog, somewhat concerned. i didn't mean to arose that emotion by any means. i am fine but the weekend was harder than i expected. while i do NOT doubt the holy and just LORD, i am still broken over the death of this man. i still want to cry once in a while, but that is part of grieving. the Bible talks about all of the saints rejoicing when evil is banished into hell and i'm sure i will rejoice when in heaven too, but until sanctification is in full effect, my perspective i think will sadly remain skewed. i still grieve for this man because he did not fall in love with the magnificent God and Father. it makes me want to shout from the roof tops even more-and maybe that's the purpose of such a death.
i thank you for your prayers. while i may not have done much, my family was definitely a light to this man's family, especially his wife.
i feel so old saying this, but life is so surreal and time seems to pass so quickly! i pray that the Lord would give me the ability to change my mindset of what i think is my time to His time. i pray that He would give me the ability to surrender more and more of wasted moments to Him, so that time would be consumed with Him for His glory among San Mateo, Riverside, and all the nations of the world.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
this is one of those emo blogs.
i know i don't handle stress well. today has been "one of those days," but i don't want to complain about it. i'm more mad at myself than anything because i wasn't looking for God during any part of it. i hate when i focus on myself.
i go home tomorrow. i have a lot of homework to do. i don't think anyone has stepped up on my group project, creating another area of tension. sometimes i really don't like the technicalities my job. i said "yes" to too many little things and am going to have to back out, weakening already weak relationships. most days i miss community.
most people think i'm crazy for going home right before break. oh, i think i'm crazy too, don't worry. i blogged previously about the death of my dad's friend ray. i'm still confused and deeply grieved about the situation. saturday my family will attend this "gathering" for him. i guess my sister was talking with his widow, (so weird to call her that....), and she said she was glad i was coming. AHH! what the crap am i supposed to say!!??! "i'm sorry your husband is dead and is in hell suffering under the wrath of the Almighty God. i'll be praying for you." ok, i know that's NOT what i'm supposed to say, but i know i can't shy away from the truth.
i don't like blogging so much and about the same thing (unless it's india....), but i really, selfishly, ask for your prayers this weekend. pray that i would trust God, that i would seek His face and rely on Him to provide words. pray that my sister, mom, and i would shine so brightly for Christ amidst darkness. pray that we would be able to bring comfort through Christ.
i need to go to sleep, but i just want to cry.
i go home tomorrow. i have a lot of homework to do. i don't think anyone has stepped up on my group project, creating another area of tension. sometimes i really don't like the technicalities my job. i said "yes" to too many little things and am going to have to back out, weakening already weak relationships. most days i miss community.
most people think i'm crazy for going home right before break. oh, i think i'm crazy too, don't worry. i blogged previously about the death of my dad's friend ray. i'm still confused and deeply grieved about the situation. saturday my family will attend this "gathering" for him. i guess my sister was talking with his widow, (so weird to call her that....), and she said she was glad i was coming. AHH! what the crap am i supposed to say!!??! "i'm sorry your husband is dead and is in hell suffering under the wrath of the Almighty God. i'll be praying for you." ok, i know that's NOT what i'm supposed to say, but i know i can't shy away from the truth.
i don't like blogging so much and about the same thing (unless it's india....), but i really, selfishly, ask for your prayers this weekend. pray that i would trust God, that i would seek His face and rely on Him to provide words. pray that my sister, mom, and i would shine so brightly for Christ amidst darkness. pray that we would be able to bring comfort through Christ.
i need to go to sleep, but i just want to cry.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Hope for Darfur?
the major headline on BBC this morning was "warrant issued for sudan's leader: The International Criminal Court issues an arrest warrant for Sudan's president on charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity in Darfur."
this could be a major turning point in the all too-long war in darfur. please pray for this war-torn country. many deaths are due to starvation, so pray that food would be able to get to these people now and after the war. please pray that international leaders would follow through with this warrant and be the hand of justice. pray that the new leader would have favor with the people of sudan and would be able to be used to bring peace to these people. pray that with this potential peace, those who know Christ will be more able to not only enter the country, but able to "deliver" the Gospel with less barriors.
this could be a major turning point in the all too-long war in darfur. please pray for this war-torn country. many deaths are due to starvation, so pray that food would be able to get to these people now and after the war. please pray that international leaders would follow through with this warrant and be the hand of justice. pray that the new leader would have favor with the people of sudan and would be able to be used to bring peace to these people. pray that with this potential peace, those who know Christ will be more able to not only enter the country, but able to "deliver" the Gospel with less barriors.
Monday, March 2, 2009
i know, i know
i know i've been blogging about india a lot, but i can't help it. lately, i know God is calling me into check about whether or not i am consumed with this place because His praises are not being sung or because i am obsessed with the culture. i'm still processing through this, so yea.
since i'm not facebooking, i sadly found myself waisting time with the application "stumble," (again, another blog in itself). i happened upon the following picture:
basically, it's a whole lot of indians on a hillside; there is such longing and curiosity on their faces. i couldn't stop thinking about Jesus teaching thousands of people daily and what that must of looked like. i think it looked something like this. people were desparate for something other than the religiousity of the time and the words and lifestyle that Jesus offered/s was truly radical. indians need this. fear and relgion runs their lives, but there is a longing for something different.i recognize that the Lord can tell people about Himself in anyway He chooses, but for the most part, He has choosen us. so these people are just waiting, waiting for us to trust God and say, "here am i, send me."
since i'm not facebooking, i sadly found myself waisting time with the application "stumble," (again, another blog in itself). i happened upon the following picture:
basically, it's a whole lot of indians on a hillside; there is such longing and curiosity on their faces. i couldn't stop thinking about Jesus teaching thousands of people daily and what that must of looked like. i think it looked something like this. people were desparate for something other than the religiousity of the time and the words and lifestyle that Jesus offered/s was truly radical. indians need this. fear and relgion runs their lives, but there is a longing for something different.i recognize that the Lord can tell people about Himself in anyway He chooses, but for the most part, He has choosen us. so these people are just waiting, waiting for us to trust God and say, "here am i, send me."
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