what.

so my good friend rachel wrote a blog and she mentioned that she had been home from her summer "m" trip for a month. it hit me-i've been back for one month and four days!! what!?!? i mean really- WHAT?!?! i have no capacity to understand the privileged that i had to serve God and bring His glory to the nations. i'm still struggle with all the time we wasted and the missed opportunities, with thoughts of the future and if india is really a place i want to go again, with the ever-thought question, "what the crap do i do now?"

i hate work because i succom to the things of the world, but i love it because God totally reveals Himself to me in ways i would never expect. i hate being home because i feel like i'm in this stupid rut, scratching to get out sometimes, while nummingly content at others. i hate not being with friends as they grow and move, but realize that as soon as i go to them, my friends here will grow and change.

i'm a spoiled child. i hate that, too.