update....

kinda. i have 5 minutes before i have to leave for work. the people i process things with are asleep or already doing stuff.

a lot has happened since september 8th, my last blog post. i got a new phone, i have been to redding and riverside, i've begun seriously praying about being an or nurse, and God has continued to challenge me in ways that i can't even understand most days.

i started reading irresistible revolution by shane claiborne. my friends cautioned me about reading it, but i don't really see why. yes, he doesn't outright say he shares the gospel with the people he encounters, but in the early chapters he talks about the transformaitonal power of the gospel, so why wouldn't he share it? anyway, after the chapter about india, i almost hopped of my current flight and bought a ticket to india. then God reminded me of my finicial and other responsibilities here. in all honesty, my thought ways, "damn! i just want to go!!!!"

then shane said that mother teresa said, "find your calcutta." kinda cheese-ball, but for sure true. where are people suffering around me? everywhere. why have i not been engaging them? because you have gotten to comfortable. then why don't i just move to the streets and love people as Christ did? because you are afraid.

i hate that i live my life in fear. the Spirit of God lives in me! what do i have to fear?

so a friend challanged me last night. why do i feel i must live in san mateo? God has given me a job in a very lost city. why am i not engaging the people i see everyday? this is my struggle. i'm praying through a lot of aspects and rammifications of this notion. would you pray with me? would you pray that the distractions of this world and my own heart wouldn't blind me from where God would have me engage a lost and hurting world?

more blogs to come. but first, 8 hours with men who hit on me. word.