Wednesday, March 19, 2008

my mom

i gripe so much about my dad, from my perspective potentially one of the biggest poods to ever walk the planet. we've been talking a lot, (understatement, maybe), about Biblical manhood and womanhood at cbu and it's been difficult not just because i'm not in a relationship with a guy, but because of the example of my parent's relationship. sometimes quite distressing.

background: my dad does not know Christ. when my mom and him met and got married, it didn't matter because she wasn't "walking with the Lord." now, my mom loves God and i've seen that love flourish over the past years. joining in with the world's view of men and women's roles have been so easy because my mom is such a strong player in my life and just amazing. the facts: while getting "demoted" at work, she just got this award for the best nurse in the entire hospital! no joke. it's called something something shining star. and because it has to do with a shining star, they named a star after her! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! tangent: i thought God was the One supposed to be naming stars here? another example of how we have made ourselves God (capital or no capital?). anyway, everyone seems to recognize how great my mom is except for my dad. example: we are re-doing our front yard and he HAS to have things his way. after talking at her for like, an hour, he asks her opinion, but just does what he wants. k, then why did you ask?

in past trips home, there has been quite a bit of yelling, that's just how my family has dealt with problems (the german in us?). well, after hearing about biblical manhood and womanhood, i was so convicted that if i can't obey my dad than how can i submit to a husband later? i get home and i expected to be the "good one," with my "yes dad's" and "sure dad." oh, but heck no those words did not come from my mouth easily, (pride? yes.). but i started listening to my dad and mom interact and was blown away. "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct" (1 peter 3:1-2). okay, words are still spoken, but it's a whole lot better than it used to be. though this is totally selfish, i feel as i final have an example to follow in terms of this kind relationship, (not that i hope to ever be in one). but moreover (way moreover), how exciting that God will be more glorified and revealed through first my mother's submission and now hopefully the obedience of my sister and I, (yes, we are the bums that still live in and out of home in our early-mid twenties).

i know i still have some attitude stuff to work on, but i was listening to a sermon this week and he was talking about a man guarding his castle on the second floor. four men go in attack it, but you have to go up to the second floor through this skinny stair case and only one person can go up at a time. so the first attacker goes up, but he's a little scrony guy in comparison to the other three and gets real tired real fast trying to bring down the the bigger man on the second floor defending his castle. the other, larger and stronger attacker says get out of the way so i can take him out, but the smaller guy is resistant. kinda get the picture? God's wrath is much more powerful than me or my family in dealing with my dad as he defends his "castle." if only we can learn to step out of the way and allow Him to work.

i think that is all. i mean, it was quite a bit.


Holly Strand said...

so great Cindy:) The Lord is teaching you so much and I praise Him for that! How gracious He is to us, even though we can be SO prideful! Thanks for posting all of this. It was really awesome and truly encouraging.

raychill said...

honestly i dont usually read long posts. unless there are links and pictures.

but i totally read all of this. and i am excited for you. and alos encouraged.