i'm a planner. planning enables me to feel in control. planning makes me feel accomplished. planning is something i do without thinking. my strongest trait in meyer's briggs is j-judging/scheduling.
but then i went to south asia.
something was different this time. yes, i had a schedule and yes, i had things to get done, but the stress that usually comes with being on task was not ever-present. i love how the people say "ke garne," or what to do? i mean, i had no control over what happened while i was there; i could only control my attitude and actions. please believe, that was hard enough.
now that i'm back in the states, i've hated being scheduled. i haven't made a single "to do" list and i've barely used my planner. i know, right? what's wrong with me? what happened to the girl with lists and lists, and post-it after post-it in my planner?
i kinda hope she's gone. i mean, sure, i still have my work schedule written down or important dates like boards, but i'm loving calling/texting people and then hanging out the same day. i'm loving the feeling of freedom that comes from not being confined to a "to-do" list. i think i lost this part of me in nursing school. i'm glad that it is coming back.
i don't think i'll ever stop planning. it's part of who i am. God has enabled me to plan and be organized. but i'm thrilled that i don't feel trapped by schedules and overwhelmed with to-do's. i'm excited about waiting on God and trusting in His faithfulness.
until next time