the desert

i know, this blog title isn't new. i used to think riverside was my desert, that life was dry and i longed to be able to serve Jesus in a more real way. "if only i could be in the work place," i would plea.

i had no idea how good i had it!

i was constantly surrounded by friends, like-minded believers, and wiser people than me that pushed me to look at the world and Jesus differently.

now, i see my friends a couple of times a week, i spend 1.5hrs a day in a car, and am surrounded by no one at work who is like-minded.

this is a desert.

and it seems that i have another 40 years to go.

don't misunderstand me. i love the serious, ridiculous, and edifying times with my church family. i love being able to worship while driving in a beautiful part of california. i love being challenged to live sacrificially in my workplace and be Jesus to people.

but this is an interim time. 

i long to be overseas, (my earthly promise land, if you will). learning language, eating food that makes me pee out my butt, using squatty potties, relying on the Spirit in ways that i can't even imagine, having spiritual conversations without awkwardness......the list goes on.

but i'm not there yet. 

it feels like i'm waiting just outside, eager to enter the land of promise.

God's timing is perfect. i know that. God never fails; i know that, too. but to live that out in mundane of life is butt-hard! 

here i wait.

here i listen to the Spirit.

here i learn.

here i worship.